Casino Waitress Costume -

I (21F) don’t want my boyfriend (we have a 1yo son) (23M) to take a job bartending at our local casino because he will be the only male working there, he has alcohol abuse issues, and an addictive personality. Am I being crazy? If so how do I get over it? I have trouble trusting him.

My bf and I have been together for almost 5 years. We met in high school and dated briefly then rekindled our relationship later on and have been together since. When we got together he was a heavy drug and alcohol user and also sold. We did a LOT of drugs. We’re lucky to be alive. And he’s lucky he’s not in jail. He has a lot of childhood trauma to deal with and so did I and we were partners in our fuckedupness. Our relationship was rocky but we never broke up. He’s always had a bit of a lying streak. He’s the type to lie about what he’s doing if he thinks I’ll have a problem with it so he can still do whatever he wants. We almost broke up because of all of this and after a three page later and a tearful apology he begged for me back and I did take him back.
That next month we found out I was pregnant. We both planned on going to nyc to finish college but I clearly couldn’t go. He offered to get engaged and even got a ring. Maybe I was pressuring him a little I’ll admit it, but it was his idea. I stayed with my mom and he moved anyways and we tried long distance. However after a month or two he told me he changed his mind and wasn’t sure about us and didn’t want to get engaged anymore. He gave me the ring as a promise ring on our anniversary instead and I was crushed.
The first two semesters he lied to me often. About who he was with and where he was going. He was honest about how unhappy he was with the situation and how it wasn’t how he pictured his life but he was trying to do the right thing and make it work even though he didn’t really want to be with me. I’m pretty certain he cheated on me but I will never have proof. He went to the club with girls often and never was honest about the situation.
Our son was born a little over a year ago. After he was born my bf seemed to get a little closer to me again. Expressing his regrets for pushing me away and almost ruining our relationship while I was pregnant. He went back to school after spending winter break with us and went back to how he was, living in the dorm of his school. The school year didn’t go well because he wasn’t taking school seriously and he failed the class he needed to get into his program. He couldn’t go back to school until he redid this calculus class (for the 3rd time).
He came home for the summer and then went back to nyc but stayed with his grandfather since he could only take one class. Things improved in our relationship as I started to look more how I used to, and he wasn’t living in the dorms at his school anymore. Thing seemed okay.
Then I got sick. I’m undiagnosed. It’s something along the lines of some sort of immune disease but it’s been an arduous process and I’ve been unable to work or go back to school or do much besides care for our son. After a near death experience, my bf decided to move back home for this semester. He’s finishing at our local college. We’re staying with my mother until he graduates and we can get our own place. He needs a 3.2 to get into the program he wants and he’s going full time.
Now to the main point... I have a lot of trust issues. He is a flirtatious person who seems to desire a lot of attention. He to this day will say he isn’t flirting he’s just being nice but in our past girls have constantly gotten the wrong impression because he’s so “friendly”. He also has trouble in school and focusing as I mentioned before, and when he failed in nyc he wasn’t working at all. He wants to find a job in our area bartending like he did in the city, and there are lots of places he could do this in our little city.
However, his sister works as a cocktail waitress at a casino and has said she can get him a job as the well bartender working nights on his day off. I do not want him to take this job at all. His job would be to get all the drinks and do all the things for the cocktail waitresses and he wouldn’t even associate with the actual costumers just the girls that work there. I don’t trust him to do this because the amount of money he gets each night depends on how much of their tips these women give him. He would be the ONLY male there. The hours are 6-3:30 on his only days off from school.
I think he will fail his classes. I think he will embarrass me with how he acts with these girls, especially since his pay depends on how much these girls like him at the end of the night (they’re all supposed to give him 10% but it’s not regulated) and I’ve been told by his sister that these girls are all just drama drama disrespectful and they’re immature. Even at his last job bartending at a country club when he got too drunk one night he embarrassed me by telling me and our friends how he had “3 hoes” who were all over him at his old job (he later said it was the women who played tennis there).
I don’t want him to take this job. The thought of him working there makes me feel like I’m going to go insane. With the stress of my mystery diagnosis I just can’t take one more thing and worrying about him and these girls I just can’t take it... am I being crazy??? I don’t want him to take this job because I think he will cheat on me, he will flunk his classes, and he would have no time for me or his son. How do I make him understand that I can’t deal with him taking this job? And if I’m being insane how do I trust him? I just don’t know how to get over this... he doesn’t care how I feel and says I can’t tell him where or where he can’t get a job, and that we need the money and he doesn’t care what issues it causes since his sister said he can make up to 400$ a night if these girls give him a lot of their tips.. he’s right, but I feel like I can’t do this... I can’t help but think this is the beginning of the end... what do I do? He just is completely ignoring me and seems to be waiting for me to just get over it but I don’t think I can...
submitted by throwragetting-over to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

[Legend of Heroes: Trails of Azure] Finished the best JRPG I have ever played.

As a JRPG fan I have played almost every game of the genre out there except DQ XI and Persona 5, no game comes close to what Ao No Kiseki brings to the table and its an incredible big heartful game, lets take a look at what are those points:
Main Characters:
Despite being cliche at times where Lloyd super power is to abuse Talk No Jutsu, he brings some interesting strong points to the team, he is not the strongest at all but he brings leadership, detective skills and intuition, he connects with everyone on a deep level, is full of flaws which makes his bold decisions be even more meaningful and he doesn't always win with his talk as we see:
These points made him grow even more as he knew he wasn't decisive enough to get through them and with his actions he broke any wall he had on his face.
Storywise his strong points is that of a defensive unit, his Tonfas are meant to protect (like Estelle) and disable his enemy, its why Arios couldn't defeat Guy no matter how much he wanted to. I built Lloyd like this as well, made him as an evasion tank that casted Adamant Guard on his allies and pulled enemies attention to him.
Lets look at the others quickly:
These characters had such a fantastic relationship of friendship, family and love, its gonna be hard to find a better cast in a JRPG.
Since Trails in the Sky we saw how NPC got much more protagonism but in this duology they are developed its crazy:
There were others like Cecil, Armorica Village chief and his son getting in trouble with an Erebonia dude trying to rip them off, mine folks, Zeit (love this doggo!), Casino owner and his relation with Randy, Arc D Ciel team, Wendy of the Orbal Staff, Fran, Detectives Scott and the other one, Bracers Ling and Eolia, Michel from Bracer's Guild, Old Dragon Dinner waitress caring a lot for Rixia, the nurses of the Hospital were a fun bunch as well with some air heads here and there, Kilika being absolute badass all game long with Lechter, Cao who was one of my favorite characters as well and so many others.
The NPCs stole the show a lot for me and its what made the game so full of heart and something few games will be able to manage, making you know Crossbell State like the palm of your hands.
There were stuffs I didn't enjoy much like Dieter and Bell being suddenly evil or Ian being persuaded by Lloyd a bit too easy with Ellie's help.
But omg there were some incredible hype moments like the fight against Ernest, the moment you meet Giliath Osborne and the Republic representative, when you meet Olivier and Kloe <3, the moment you got attacked by the Imperial and Republic terrorists and saw when Red Constellation put them on a wall and murdered them, the declaration of independence, trip to Michelam and fun times, the awakening of keA, Ouroboros lending the three Aions which freaking DESTROYED Garrelia Fortress, the moment we got defeated by Ogre Rosso, whole City under attack with lots of people injured including Illya, Demon Wald destroying Downtown everything according to Dieter (Ian) plan, the meeting with the 6th Anguis Dr Norvatis, facing Arios to rescue keA, got arrested after bending the knee, the prison break with Garcia, the moment you meet Divine Wolf Zeit, getting help from Wazy and KEVIN!, meeting with the team, facing Noel, then stoping the Bells you had to face CAMPANELLA (hated that fight), facing off The Valkyries and Duvalie, then facing freaking Arianhord! who acknowledge you after making her fall on her knees, finding out that keA reversed time and that you actually died facing Joaching due to not having Renne assistance so she made Renne appear in The 3rd and made the SSS meet with Estelle and Joshua, also that one of her powers was to make people love her... no wonder she had a sad face all the time in Ao, followed with Lloyd moment with her and the credit scenes were whe see Crossbell invaded and the different factions fighting back, Mireille with Randy, Dudley and Noel, Tio with the foundation and Jonah, Ellie with.. idk who were those, and Lloyd with Arios and keA.
Such a fantastic story that had everything and The Special Support Section is currently my favorite cast in JRPG, such a well written family.
Thanks for reading, I know its a bit long but I had a blast with this game and its fantastic music.
This game is currently my favorite JRPG of all time.
submitted by Radinax to Falcom [link] [comments]

[Legend of Heroes: Trails of Azure] Finished the best JRPG I have ever played. Huge spoilers inside.

As a JRPG fan I have played almost every game of the genre out there except DQ XI and Persona 5, no game comes close to what Ao No Kiseki brings to the table and its an incredible big heartful game, lets take a look at what are those points:
Main Characters:
Despite being cliche at times where Lloyd super power is to abuse Talk No Jutsu, he brings some interesting strong points to the team, he is not the strongest at all but he brings leadership, detective skills and intuition, he connects with everyone on a deep level, is full of flaws which makes his bold decisions be even more meaningful and he doesn't always win with his talk as we see:
These points made him grow even more as he knew he wasn't decisive enough to get through them and with his actions he broke any wall he had on his face.
Storywise his strong points is that of a defensive unit, his Tonfas are meant to protect (like Estelle) and disable his enemy, its why Arios couldn't defeat Guy no matter how much he wanted to. I built Lloyd like this as well, made him as an evasion tank that casted Adamant Guard on his allies and pulled enemies attention to him.
Lets look at the others quickly:
These characters had such a fantastic relationship of friendship, family and love, its gonna be hard to find a better cast in a JRPG.
Since Trails in the Sky we saw how NPC got much more protagonism but in this duology they are developed its crazy:
There were others like Cecil, Armorica Village chief and his son getting in trouble with an Erebonia dude trying to rip them off, mine folks, Zeit (love this doggo!), Casino owner and his relation with Randy, Arc D Ciel team, Wendy of the Orbal Staff, Fran, Detectives Scott and the other one, Bracers Ling and Eolia, Michel from Bracer's Guild, Old Dragon Dinner waitress caring a lot for Rixia, the nurses of the Hospital were a fun bunch as well with some air heads here and there, Kilika being absolute badass all game long with Lechter, Cao who was one of my favorite characters as well and so many others.
The NPCs stole the show a lot for me and its what made the game so full of heart and something few games will be able to manage, making you know Crossbell State like the palm of your hands.
There were stuffs I didn't enjoy much like Dieter and Bell being suddenly evil or Ian being persuaded by Lloyd a bit too easy with Ellie's help.
But omg there were some incredible hype moments like the fight against Ernest, the moment you meet Giliath Osborne and the Republic representative, when you meet Olivier and Kloe <3, the moment you got attacked by the Imperial and Republic terrorists and saw when Red Constellation put them on a wall and murdered them, the declaration of independence, trip to Michelam and fun times, the awakening of keA, Ouroboros lending the three Aions which freaking DESTROYED Garrelia Fortress, the moment we got defeated by Ogre Rosso, whole City under attack with lots of people injured including Illya, Demon Wald destroying Downtown everything according to Dieter (Ian) plan, the meeting with the 6th Anguis Dr Norvatis, facing Arios to rescue keA, got arrested after bending the knee, the prison break with Garcia, the moment you meet Divine Wolf Zeit, getting help from Wazy and KEVIN!, meeting with the team, facing Noel, then stoping the Bells you had to face CAMPANELLA (hated that fight), facing off The Valkyries and Duvalie, then facing freaking Arianhord! who acknowledge you after making her fall on her knees, finding out that keA reversed time and that you actually died facing Joaching due to not having Renne assistance so she made Renne appear in The 3rd and made the SSS meet with Estelle and Joshua, also that one of her powers was to make people love her... no wonder she had a sad face all the time in Ao, followed with Lloyd moment with her and the credit scenes were whe see Crossbell invaded and the different factions fighting back, Mireille with Randy, Dudley and Noel, Tio with the foundation and Jonah, Ellie with.. idk who were those, and Lloyd with Arios and keA.
Such a fantastic story that had everything and The Special Support Section is currently my favorite cast in JRPG, such a well written family.
Thanks for reading, I know its a bit long but I had a blast with this game and its fantastic music.
This game is currently my favorite JRPG of all time.
submitted by Radinax to JRPG [link] [comments]

Campaign spotlight Ep. #15: High Roller Sisko/Waitress Ezri

Welcome, my friends, to "A briefing with Neelix". Crew spotlight, episode 15!
Campaign numero quatro is Rolling up on us, bringing with it a couple of fun con men. Con..people? Since they're both from the same episode, we'll do another condensed spotlight so the heretics among you can stop reading halfway through.

High Roller Sisko


5/5 High Roller Sisko SEC CMD DIP Overall
Base 1360 (#1) 987 (#72) 471 (#293)
Proficiency 129–325 (#158) 123–270 (#188) 130–270 (#232) #274
Voyage #10 #90 #275 #26
Base among variants #1 #4 #6
+9 accuracy, +1100 to Crit Rating. Trigger: Position
9 Sisko, 2 Captain, 1 Bajoran events


★★ Promoted Sisko
★★★ Commanding Officer Sisko
★★★★ Mirror Sisko
★★★★ Gabriel Bell
★★★★ Dr. Hippocrates Noah
★★★★★ 1701 Sisko
★★★★★ Benny Russell
★★★★★ Captain Sisko
★★★★★ Conflicted Sisko
★★★★★ Enemy Lines Sisko

★★★★★ High Roller Sisko

★★★★★ Niners Sisko
★★★★★ Solar Sails Sisko

Collections and Traits

No collections.
Human, Federation, Starfleet, Bajoran, Cultural Figure, Gambler, Thief, Crafty (8)

Unlockables (700+)



Who wants to talk about SEC?! SEC SEC SEC SEC SEC SEC SEC!
Pros: #1 SEC base. #2 'SEC and CMD' shuttler (fucking Keiko lol). #3 CMD/DIP/SEC voyager.
Cons: Skill set more than three times as common as any other. No gauntlet/arena/collection considerations (yet).
You'd better sit down, I'm going to say nice things about attributes I never give any love to. Top bases are useful and becoming more important. If you're buying Sisko's campaign, I'm assuming you also have requisition shuttles and Faction event considerations. When your pool of bonus crew is depleted, you need stalwarts like Sisko to pilot some runs. Indeed, crew of a certain power level will even surpass super rares with a bonus. And if you don't have the time or desire to mess around with tanked shuttles, Roller will give you a 20%+ better success rate for daily shuttles than any super rares you've been trotting out.
It's okay to invest in great CMD/DIP/SEC crew. You may have some old timers like Captain Sisko or Arachnia fully fused, but Roller is 10-15% better for base and voyages than many old cards. Would you like to take your voyages from nine hours to the ten hour dilemma? There may not be a gaping chasm between choices like you'll find for many of the MED combos, but the CMD/DIP/SEC portion of your roster shouldn't be ignored, especially considering their Faction seat ubiquity. As I write this, the Faction event going on has zero ENG/SCI/MED in the three seat missions, despite seven bonus crew with SCI.
If, like me, you do your best to avoid CMD/DIP/SEC crew since they often fall in your lap (Thrax, Kol, Kortar, Leland), Sisko is one crew you can feel good about investing in. SEC is the most common Faction event skill and 'SEC and CMD' the most common 'and' seat.

I$ he worth it?

If you've ever extolled the virtues of pure base crew like Commander Barak or Lal then Sisko's your guy. If you've ever stared longingly at the voyage ranks day after day and then quizzed yourself on them while walking home oh God what is wrong with me, then Sisko's your guy. If Avery Brooks' scraggly chin fuzz and pearly whites make you weak in the knees, Sisko's your guy.
Even to my fellow value over replacement acolytes, Roller comes highly recommended. He's got the power for immediate impact and the event count to maintain relevance. He may not offer the frills that make other crew so well rounded, but as my high school shop teacher would say, any job worth doing is worth doing well. If you're going to invest in the skill set of doom, make sure it's for a crew who is the best at something, as Roller is.
Finish him?
Yup. With the way the portal winds are blowing, we're looking at 6+ more months of winter for this groundhog and his stats will demand immediate use on any roster. Barring duplicates, I'd be hard pressed to imagine many scenarios where he's not one of your best citation targets once he's 4/5 at the end of the campaign.

Waitress Ezri


4/4 Waitress Ezri DIP MED SEC Overall
Base 652 (#67) 450 (#44) 287 (#196)
Proficiency 193–390 (#27) 162–497 (#11) 47–135 (#188) #27
Voyage #59 #33 #214 #143
Base among (Dax) variants #5 #1 #8
+7 Accuracy @ 12 seconds, deals 200% instant damage.
12 Dax, 1 Ezri events


★ Desert Ezri Dax
★★★ Sniper Ezri Dax
★★★★ Mirror Ezri Tigan

★★★★ Waitress Ezri

Collections and Traits

No collections.
Trill, Costumed, Undercover Operative, Counselor, Resourceful, Federation, Starfleet (7)

Unlockables (700+)

  • [CT.2] Rabid Fans (DIP 125 | 300 | 712)
Undercover Operative/Resourceful:
  • [7.1] Improvised Entry (DIP 167 | 405 | 769)


What's a knockout like you doing in a computer-generated gin joint like this?
Pros: Dax event count. #1 Dax MED base.
Cons: Flaccid stats across the board. Thin late game utility.
Waitress Ezri is one of the names whose reputation is pretty far from what the stats say. I rarely hear bad things about her from players, but rarely good things from the numbers. Generally when that happens, it's because the crew is plugging a hole in a player's roster which needs to be shored up.
But 'just get better crew' isn't always a viable solution. In fact, events in 2019 have only provided four crew with DIP and MED. If you've been around since the Cornwell and BR Bashir megas, you'll likely freeze Waitress without a second thought, even as a casual player. Her voyage power is on the wrong side of bad and her best proficiency roll, MED, is nearly doubled by common super rare gauntleteers Mirror Phlox and Nurse Garland.
Like Admiral Picard from the previous month, however, she has early game utility worth considering - instant ship damage, the uncommon MED skill, a little gauntlet play, and consistent events. If you're someone who uses Waitress every day, give us some roster context in the comments and let's figure out why her rep doesn't jive with the numbers.
A #1 variant base generally answers this question, but as one of only two Daxes to have any MED, seats will be scarce. Her only Faction event in the last twenty months was during Bashir's mega which skewed how many MED seats you're likely to see in the average Dax event. Her 2x bonus MED sits at #26 among non-bonus options, so it may need the 'DIP and MED' seat specifically to pitch in.
She may find work if her bonus and the right event type line up, but with such poor bases, an established roster will likely leave her frozen.

Is she worth it?

At the risk of angering the Dax crowd, Waitress is not for everyone. No collections, great immediate stats, or strong bases to thaw make her forgettable on established rosters. But any 4/4 with MED will be useful for rosters under, say, 6-12 months. I'll defer to her reputation and suggest checking your roster against her numbers and skill set to see if Xentrex Waitress is right for you.

The Story

No ship at warp, no Captain's log? What is this? Oh, right...Deep Space Nine. We're in Vic Fontaine's nightclub shooting the breeze with the boys. Vic starts singing, because that's sort of his thing, when the holodeck suddenly "malfunctions", because that's sort of Star Trek's thing. Vic's transforms into a burlesque show, starring four young ladies who all have their own pages on Memory Alpha. Never change, Trek nerds.
We're quickly introduced to the baddie, a gangster named Frankie Eyes and his bratwurst-looking sidekick Cheech. He just bought Vic's hotel and has a bone to pick with him. 'Look here, you're finished in this town, see?' Miles' attempts to stop Frankie and shut down the holoprogram fail, fade to black.
Back on the station, it's established that the convoluted holoprogram design leaves the crew with two options; delete the bad guys and reset the whole program including Vic's memory, or play along and save Vic from the unemployment line. While the bridge crew mulls over a rescue plan, Captain Sisko interrupts with a very fair question, "When do you [all] plan on going back to work?"
We check in on Sisko and Miss Yates in their quarters enjoying a candlelit dinner. Kasidy is worried about Vic too, but a very not amused Sisko asks to change the subject, further highlighting the dour cloud floating above his head.
Miley and Jules go to check on Vic and hash out a plan, but upon arrival find that Vic just had the stuffing beaten out of him; a little 'warning' from Frankie's boys. They urge Vic to lay low while Decoy Kira and Jazz Musician Odo (redux) go scout out the place, looking for a way to oust Frankie from Vic's home. Kira catches Frankie's Eyes and Odo does a Stretch Armstrong impression, ingratiating themselves to the antagonists.
Their reconnaissance uncovers that Frankie's hotel purchase was financed by his mafioso boss who gets paid back with a cut of the casino's profits. The casino's money goes bye bye, so does Frankie, capiche? The crew divvies up roles for the Great Casino Heist, setting up DB for even more wacky variants down the line, and plant the seeds of their scheme, including securing employment for one Waitress Ezri.
Again in the Captain's quarters, Kasidy is detailing her role in Vic's rescue when Sisko's irritation with Vic and the holoprogram finally boils over [see quotes]. He tells her that the program whitewashes the civil rights struggle and it doesn't sit right with him. She counters that Vic's is the way things should have been in the sixties and a good reminder that humanity has moved beyond such failings. Ben considers her argument as we get back to project #FreeVic.
The crew is ready to pull off The Italian Job, but are one man short. Enter Motherfuckin' Hawk, looking sharp in his vest. The gang go over their clockwork con in detail for the benefit of the audience, including a spiked drink delivered to the casino's count man by Waitress Ezri, a vault cracking by Ensign "Ears" Nog, and High Roller Sisko's big bucks drawing attention to the craps table.
But come the night of the big heist, everything goes wrong. Ezri's drink tray goes kablooie, but a quick thinking Bashir snatches a nearby pair of martinis and spikes one of them. Upon delivery, Ezri finds the casino count man replaced by the literal Chancellor of the Klingon High Council, Gowron, son of M'Rel. Some clever rhetoric convinces him to down the dosed drink anyways.
Janitor Nog runs into an unanticipated re-lock system while trying to crack the safe and Frankie's boss shows up a day early looking for his profits, sending Kira scrambling for a distraction. Sisko obliges, throwing fistfuls of cash in the air and playing the role of flamboyantly generous foreign investor. The commotion gives Nog and Odo enough time to swipe the dough and escape.
An empty-handed Frankie Eyes is escorted out back by a couple of his boss's lackeys to be fitted for a pair of cement shoes and Vic's nightclub program is restored to normal. Sisko, having let his hair down, sings us off in a baritone vibrato. Roll credits.

The Characters

More of a fun ensemble romp than character story, most of the crew were window dressing in this episode. High Roller Sisko, arguably the only player with much depth, was the vehicle for Trek's famous statements on morality. His scenes with Kasidy Yates had him wrestling with the dichotomy of the impact on history that the civil rights movement had and the idyllic, hopeful world that Star Trek often portrays.
And Ezri was also there.


Sisko: Look, this is not about Vic Fontaine.
Kasidy: Then what is your problem?
Sisko: You want to know? You really want to know what my problem is? I'll tell you. Las Vegas 1962, that's my problem. In 1962, black people weren't very welcome there. Oh, sure they could be performers or janitors, but customers? Never.
Kasidy: Maybe that's the way it was in the real Vegas, but that is not the way it is at Vic's. I have never felt uncomfortable there and neither has Jake.
Sisko: But don't you see, that's the lie. In 1962, the Civil Rights movement was still in its infancy. It wasn't an easy time for our people and I'm not going to pretend that it was.
Kasidy: Baby, I know that Vic's isn't a totally accurate representation of the way things were, but it isn't meant to be. It shows us the way things could have been. The way they should've been.
Sisko: We cannot ignore the truth about the past.
Kasidy: Going to Vic's isn't going to make us forget who we are or where we came from. What it does is it reminds us that we're no longer bound by any limitations, except the ones we impose on ourselves.

The Actors

Avery Brooks
Famous in the Trekverse for 'not being Picard', indeed Brooks brought a special and sometimes eccentric flair to his performances on Deep Space Nine. I'm light on his other acting credits which apparently include stage work spanning decades. Educate us in the comments if you've seen him in something else you've enjoyed.
Other appearances: Spenser: For Hire/A Man Called Hawk
Nicole de Boer
The 'other' Dax, but my personal favorite. She was in a previous write-up if you'd like to read more.
Other appearances: Stargate: Atlantis, Haven
Previous episodes: Mirror Jean-Luc Picard/Admiral Picard, Berlinghoff Rasmussen, Temporal Prisoner Chakotay, Irumodic Syndrome Picard, Kivas Fajo, Temporal Agent Seven, Assimilated La Forge/Gunslinger Uhura, Sniper Ezri Dax, Captain Morgan Bateson, Zhian'tara Odo, Timicin, Trelane, Bajoran Dukat, Bestselling Author Jake Sisko
submitted by Automaton_2000 to StarTrekTimelines [link] [comments]

50 of the least offensive jokes I know.

  1. When does a car stop being a car? When it's driving down the road and turns into a driveway.
  2. What do you get when you cross a brown chicken and a brown cow? Brownchickenbrowncow. Edited to lower offense levels
  3. Why do Programmers wear costumes on Christmas? Because DEC 25 is OCT 31. Edited to lower offense levels
  4. How do you throw a party in space? You planet.
  5. Where does the king keep his armies? In his sleevies.
  6. How many mosquitoes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? At least two.
  7. What happens when snails get in a fight? They slug it out.
  8. What do you call a low pitched growl from a dog? A subwoofer.
  9. What's the range on a tuba? About 8 feet, with a good arm.
  10. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
  11. Why couldn't the action movie hero get off his flight? Because there's no time to ex-plane!
  12. Why can't Luke ever surprise Vader with birthday gifts? Because Vader can sense his presents in the force.
  13. What kind of overalls does Mario wear? Denim denim denim.
  14. What do you call a short-statured psychic jailbird? A small medium at large.
  15. What do you call it when a bird mimics a Weird Al song? A parroty.
  16. What's a pirates favorite letter? The C!
  17. How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer.
  18. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
  19. Why was the skeleton afraid of the haunted house? He didn't have any guts.
  20. What's the biggest difference between your dirty laundry and your clean laundry? Your clean laundry has less socks.
  21. What did Ryu say when Ken asked to borrow a jacket? "Shoryuken."
  22. Which street tastes the best? Rocky road.
  23. Why can't the fisherman get any sleep? Because of all the whaling.
  24. What do vegan zombies crave? Graaaaaains.
  25. You may think it's funny, to kiss your honey, when her nose is runny, but it'snot!
  26. What do you get when you put adderall into the gas tank of a Ford Fiesta? A Ford Focus.
  27. Why aren't there many casinos in the savannah? To many cheetahs.
  28. What's a Greek philosophers' favorite childhood toy? Play-to.
  29. What's the tastiest country? Turkey.
  30. Why shouldn't you let your pokemon in the bathroom while you shower? They might Pikachu.
  31. What's the easiest way to get the King and Queen in your pocket? Buy a pack of cards.
  32. What do you call a man hiding in your mailbox? Bill.
  33. Why don't cannibals eat clowns? They taste funny.
  34. What time is busiest at the dentist? 2:30 (tooth hurty)
  35. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
  36. A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?"
  37. What do you say to a slow tomato? Ketchup!
  38. How do you get to the part of Hogwarts that Harry Potter grew up in? Through the Griffin door.
  39. Where did the Sultan do his banking, before Aladdin came along? Wells Jafargo.
  40. John Paul Sarte goes to a cafe and orders "one coffee, no milk please". The waitress returns shortly and says "I'm sorry sir, it looks like we're fresh out of milk. Would you take your coffee with no cream instead?"
  41. Einstein, Pascal, Da Vinci and Newton get together for a game of Hide and Seek. Einstein is It, and begins counting down. Leonardo hurries up into a tree. Pascal runs behind a bush. Newton, however, draws a square on the ground in chalk, right behind Einstein, and sits down in it. When Einstein reaches zero, he announces "Ready or not, here I come!" Then turns around and says "Ah! That was too easy, you barely hid at all. You're out, I found you, Newton." To which Newton responds "Oh did you now? By my reckoning, one Newton per square meter is a Pascal!"
  42. An infinite number of mathematicians walks into a bar. The first says "I'd like a beer please!" The second says "I'd like half a beer, please!" The third says "I'd like a quarter of a beer, please!" The fourth says "I'd like an eighth of a beer, please!" Finally, getting frustrated, the bartender pours two beers and says "You all need to learn your limits."
  43. A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar. The bartender says "I'll serve you, but don't you go starting anything."
  44. A zen buddhist goes to a hotdog truck and says "Please, make me one with everything."
  45. Did you hear about the man who was run over after falling asleep in the middle of the road? He was two tired.
  46. Why is Charlie Brown always broke? Because he works for Peanuts.
  47. What do you get when Dracula bites a pig? A hampire.
  48. What is red and tastes like blue paint? Red paint.
  49. Why did the Moon skip dessert? It was full.
  50. Two str() walk into a bar. The first says "Gimme a beer!Excuse him, he's not null terminated." The second says "Excuse him, he's not null terminated."
I thought coming up with 50 inoffensive jokes off the top of my head would be easy. I was quite wrong, this took a long time. I didn't look any of these up, but quite a few are featured in this sub pretty often. I'm ashamed to admit I wrote a couple of the really awful ones up there too. And there are a couple in there that are borderline offensive, but I'm tapped out.
Edit: I'm very very sorry for everyone who was offended by the joke about redditors or the (poorly typed) joke about Seattle weather. Those holes have been removed, and a committee has been formed to fully document the impact of such hurtful jokes. I hope that the replacement jokes are less controversial. If you have any further offense to air, please direct it to this post's new Offense Management System at [email protected]. I'm sure all complaints will be appropriately managed.
submitted by gameryamen to Jokes [link] [comments]

Stan Lee has made 44 cameos in the Marvel universe — here they all are

  1. Stan Lee's first live-action cameo was as a jury member in the TV movie "The Trial of the Incredible Hulk" (1989).
  2. His first cinematic Marvel cameo was as a hot dog vendor in "X-Men" (2000).
  3. He showed up as a surprised bystander who saved a little girl from debris in "Spider-Man" (2002).
  4. A young Matt Murdock saves a distracted Lee from walking into traffic in "Daredevil" (2003).
  5. Lee and former Hulk actor Lou Ferrigno were security guards in 2003's "Hulk."
  6. He saves a woman from rubble while Spider-Man clashes with Doc Ock in "Spider-Man 2" (2004).
  7. In "Fantastic Four" (2005), Lee appears as mailman Willie Lumpkin, a character he created in the comics.
  8. Lee gets extremely weirded out when Jean Grey begins using her telekinesis in "X-Men: The Last Stand" (2006).
  9. Lee is a wedding crasher in 2007's "Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer" who is turned away at the entrance.
  10. He comes across Peter Parker in Times Square in 2007's "Spider-Man 3."
  11. Tony Stark mistakes Lee for Hugh Hefner in 2008's "Iron Man."
  12. Here he is grabbing a drink in 2008's "The Incredible Hulk."
  13. In a nod to his original "Iron Man" cameo, Tony mistakes Lee for Larry King in "Iron Man 2" (2010).
  14. Lee unsuccessfully tries to drag Thor's hammer with his pickup truck in the first "Thor" (2011).
  15. In "Captain America: The First Avenger," Lee plays a WWII general at a press conference for Cap. (2011)
  16. Lee pops up in a newsreel as a chess player being interviewed in the first "Avengers" movie (2012).
  17. Lee's second cameo in the first "Avengers" movie was cut for time, but in the deleted scenes he's having lunch next to Captain America and urges him to get the waitress' number.
  18. Lee grooves out to classical music while Spider-Man and the Lizard battle behind him in "The Amazing Spider-Man" (2012).
  19. Lee gives a beauty contestant a perfect "10" in "Iron Man 3" (2013).
  20. He appears as a patient in a mental institution in 2013's "Thor: The Dark World."
  21. Lee is a security guard who loses Captain America's costume (Cap stole it) in "Captain America: The Winter Soldier" (2014).
  22. Lee attends Peter's graduation during 2014's "The Amazing Spider-Man 2."
  23. Rocket Raccoon spies him in 2014's "Guardians of the Galaxy" flirting with a young woman.
  24. Okay, so this isn't live-action, but he made his first animated cinematic cameo in 2014's "Big Hero 6" as Fred's father.
  25. That same year, he played a stranger on a train in an episode of ABC's tie-in show "Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D."
  26. He also appeared in the first season of ABC's "Agent Carter," alongside Tony's dad, Howard Stark in 2015.
  27. Lee pops up as a military vet in "Avengers: Age of Ultron" (2015) who must be carried away after getting too drunk on Asgardian liquor at a victory party.
  28. He's a grizzled, yet friendly bartender in "Ant-Man" (2015).
  29. Stan Lee's "Deadpool" (2016) cameo is as raunchy as the film itself. Lee appears as an emcee at a strip club.
  30. In "Captain America: Civil War" (2016), Lee appears in one of the final scenes as a Fed-Ex deliveryman, with a package for Tony Stark.
  31. In "X-Men: Apocalypse" (2016), he stands with his real wife Joan during a scene where Apocalypse uses his powers to launch all the world's nuclear weapons into space, essentially disarming the entire planet.
  32. He appears in the final episode of the first season of Netflix's "Daredevil" series in a photograph on the back wall (2015).
  33. When Jessica Jones visits the same station in "Jessica Jones" (2015), with a surprise appearance from nemesis Kilgrave, we see the same photo of Lee as an officer.
  34. In Netflix's series "Luke Cage," you can spot the same photo of Stan Lee on a poster saying, "See a crime? Report it!" when Luke spots a robbery in progress.
  35. In "Doctor Strange," Stan Lee pops up on a bus in New York City reading a copy of "The Doors of Perception."
  36. Though Stan doesn't pop up in "Logan," he was involved with a little "Deadpool" teaser that aired before the movie played. His part was cut from the theatrical version, but it's online.
  37. Eagle-eyed viewers spied Lee once again as an officer on a poster in the 13th episode of "Iron Fist."
  38. Stan's cameo in "Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2" has him dressed as an astronaut as he sits and tells stories to three celestial beings.
  39. Lee appears again in "Spider-Man: Homecoming." This time he plays Gary, a man yelling out a window at Spidey.
  40. He popped up again on TV thanks to his cameo on the pilot episode of "The Gifted."
  41. Stan's cameo in "Thor: Ragnarok" has him wearing some arm bands that have some sharp shears on the end to cut off Thor's hair.
  42. He popped up on Hulu's "Runaways" as a limo driver on one episode.
  43. In "Black Panther," Stan Lee shows up as a gambler in a casino.
  44. Lee can be seen on a bus ad on the second season of "Jessica Jones."
Link to article
submitted by autobuzzfeedbot to buzzfeedbot [link] [comments]

Was she right to be offended or was she wrong

At a Casino recently playing craps. Right next to me was a guy who was probably only 21 or 22.
Now at this particular casino they have their waitresses/servers whatever you want to call them walk around in those skimpy costumes. Most of the time the woman taking your order is old enough to be the Mother of 50% of the people at the table so its not as glamorous as it sounds.
However on occasion you run across someone who actually fits the costume and the other night was one of those occasions.
Young woman probably mid 20's who happened to be very well endowed and the costume which has a very low cut to expose lots of cleavage really accentuated her figure.
The young guy hadn't seen her and she came up behind him with the drink order he place he turned to pay her and literally stopped dead in his tracks staring right at her. He quickly recovered and fumbled through his money and gave her a tip and you could see the guy was all nerves.
She stood there and when he gave her his money and turned back around to continue playing she called him a "pig" and and went on down the road.
At first I thought it was kind of funny, but then it kind of struck me that this was actually rude on her part. She said it loud enough that I heard her so I know he did to.
The guy did stop and stare, but maybe for only 3 seconds. You could just see on his face a combination of shock and then embarrassment. He then paid her and even left her a tip.
He never said a word to her, didn't stare at her as she left or even after the initial shock.
Was she right to be offended or not?
submitted by El_Peckbo to AskMen [link] [comments]

Slaughter Theatre Part Two

I looked at the man with unwilling disdain, he was hardly the most approachable character. In the background I could see staff miserably toiling, the sun was hot, and the men looked dirty and overworked.
'So...' Fortyn Kildare insisted, 'Like I said. All the information about the murder was provided at the time. What exactly are you hoping to dig up now??'
‘Well there’s nothing TO dig up’ I smiled, ‘The body was dumped in plain sight. I don’t really need any information about the death Mr Kildare. Have you had anyone suspicious working on your staff in the past two years?’ ‘As I told the bloody cops—’ Fortyn cursed; ‘Every cunt that works here is suspect. We’re working twelve hour days here Mr investigator. Don’t suspect you know what this kind of work is like, but this isn’t exactly the best job out there. We attract all kinds here.’
I had to squint temporarily from the glare of the sun bouncing off a metal girder.
‘Don’t you have some kind of a union Mr Kildare?’. Fortyn glared menacingly, then leant over to speak more softly; ‘Too right we do. Matter of fact, there’s been a lot of action lately. Just like the old days you know. Well, they’re trying to pull a shifty on the working class again.’ ‘Oh yeah, really?’ I prompted. ‘Damn straight it is…Ever since Howard’s work choices, these new contractual cheats, you can sign a form that agrees to just about anything. They’ve got fake companies set up to take care of the unions, and we’re all working twelve hours. If you complain they’ll send you off site, or sack you. My great, great grandfather was there at the rallies— back in 1856 —when the Stonemasons won the eight hour day you know. They think they can pull the wool over our eyes, but we’re regrouping. Just like the old days, down at the docks. In the casino’s. The Unions are coming back. You better fuckin’ believe it—— What’s wrong with that eh?’
I could see that Fortyn Kildare was not going to be particularly helpful, and his tangent interests showed pretty clearly that he knew absolutely nothing about the murder. I didn’t want to waste my ten minutes, before Pex escorted from the premises, but I asked Kildare one last question for good measure, ‘Have you ever heard about Slaughter Theatre— Mr Kildare?’ The ocker man almost spat the words ‘NO!’ at me, and I quickly consoled the impatient mullet donning gruff that I wasn’t going to take up any more of his time; ‘Thanks for your help’.
I walked slowly in a maudlin fashion back towards the front fences, as other tradies had begun hollering and leering at me….trudging over dirt and loose stones. I couldn’t think of much else to look at, the exhausted workers around me didn’t seem worth bothering. My own inner monologue was echoing the sentiment expressed by Drendyl Pex— that this pursuit was little more than a wild donkey chase. A mad conspiracy theory. Nonetheless, what Pex had said about the two crimes displaying traits of a potential serial killer had got me thinking, and I realised I needed to get home and do some more research on the press surrounding the Alice Goddard murder.
As I was walking out the gate, I noticed the receptionist, (who was apparently not a receptionist) smoking a cigarette out on the street, and my sleuth’s intuition told me it was worth staying for one last round of questioning. I approached her calmly. ‘Let me guess, Vogue menthol thins.’ The woman turned, breathing out smoke and pouting, the thin white cigarette in her hand fell down to her side; ‘How did you guess?’ She asked. ‘Ex smokers hunch.’ I replied, ‘I have a sixth sense when it comes to horoscopes and cigarette brands. It comes with constant investigation. You get to know people’s types.’ ‘Is that right?’ The woman responded amused but cynical, ‘What star sign am I then?’ ‘Judging from what i’ve seen of you’ I said thoughtfully, ‘I’d say Gemini, there’s more to you than there seems.’ The woman raised her eyebrow, partially impressed; “May twenty. Just off the mark Mr Dronefire. But you were close. My mother always told me I was a cusp Taurus.’ ‘Ms Weabley isn’t it?’ I checked. ‘Lisa’ she replied, holding out her hand in an informal re-greeting. ‘Mr Pex tells me you work in occupational health and safety here. So you must have a pretty good handle on what’s occurred on and off this site.’ ‘Listen Mr Dronefire, you really ought to speak to Mr Pex in regards to—‘ ’Mr Pex told me I could speak to you, I assure you, this place is not under investigation. Actually I was just wondering if you’d ever seen a film crew working on the site. Maybe a stupid question.’ ‘Huh?’, Lisa changed her tone drastically, ’Now…. why would you ask that?’ ‘I’m trying to track down someone who may have shot a video here.’ I continued, ‘You have had a film crew here then?’
‘Yes. I mean…’ Ms Weabley stuttered and thought for a moment, she had a strangely compelling face, especially when deep in thought, mousey blond hair falling over her creased forehead… ‘We do promotional marketing. Social media videos.. and….’ ‘—Would you have had any film crew in the yards any time near July last year?’ I asked. ‘Yes.’ Lisa replied anxiously, ‘We were particularly active mid last year, then it slowed down, didn’t film anything September till Christmas.’ ‘Do you have a regularly production crew you work with?’ ‘Not right now….No…but…’ Lisa contemplated it, ‘We did have a specific crew back then. Sure. Hey… I can send you the production call sheet with the contacts of everyone who worked on those jobs, will that help?’ ‘Brilliant, yes. Thank you Ms Weabley.’ We exchanged contact details and I returned to my car, shortly I was back in the air conditioning of my Valiant Charger, on the road for an afternoon drink in Fitzroy. I had a taste for that rum Mr Pex had given me, and managed to track one down at the old rum house, Gunnery white spiced. Seven rums later and the investigation had pleasantly left my mind.
Dreams of falling men in suits, alien flowers and twisting vines tangled in a web. Monday morning and my paranoia was back in full force, when the email from Lisa Weabley showed up in my inbox.
The call sheet Ms Weabley sent was amateurish and brief, but it did give me a list of people to call.
I spent that morning dialling numbers. There was no director listed, which I found marginally strange. The cameraman, Mark Virafi must have changed his number in the past year, because the number listed on the call sheet had a disconnected Telstra message, or it was bad data entry. Next on the list was an editor, by the name of Lumborg Hames. I didn’t get through the first or second time I called. Left a bunch of voice mail messages and texts, and finally got a call back around lunch time. He was a very softly spoken guy, definitely your introverted, creative type. I told him a simple version of my background to the case, and he agreed to meet up for a chat in a Richmond cafe. He lived on Gwynne St in Cremorne, down towards the water. From my understanding it was only a short distance from Stephenson Street where notorious criminal Dennis Allen once lived.
I met with Lumborg Hames on Tuesday. I was sitting in the Red Dog cafe, and i’d grown starving before Mr Hames arrived, so I ordered a big breakfast. When Lumborg arrived I was hoeing into a bacon and hash brown sandwich covered in baked beans. Mr Hames stood awkwardly around for a while, looking back and forth nervously until I noticed him and called out; ‘Mr Hames?’.
He was a big guy, very wide in girth, having what some might describe as a ‘neck beard’, a fluffy coating over numerous chins, and his beady-but-kind eyes looked out of round glasses. He was wearing the sort of cheesy comedy T-shirt you might have found at Granny May’s in the nineties, text said something dumb like ‘Whatever you want. The answer is NO’. Lumborg nervously sat in front of me, and I apologised for ordering before he arrived, but he told me in his wafting soft voice that he had already eaten. When the waitress came over he ordered a coffee, and I followed his lead. ‘Thanks for coming Mr Hames, I do appreciate you giving me your time. I know you're probably a busy editor.’ ‘Not really’ Lumborg confessed, almost too candidly, ‘I work freelance, between jobs at the moment, so…..i’ve got time.’ There was an awkward silence, where I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to feign empathy, or just pretend like his job insecurity was normal. Luckily Lumborg quickly broke the silence; ‘Sooo…. You want to know about when I was working at the Three Vertice construction company I guess?’ ’Sort of…’ I replied, not even a hundred percent sure what I was doing myself here yet;
‘But first… humour me… Have you ever heard of something called ‘Slaughter Theatre’ Mr Hames?’ The robust and timid man, suddenly perked up in his seat, his large belly almost jiggling somewhat, ‘Ha… well I didn’t think this chat would get so interesting so quickly. Sure, I know about the trilogy. I work in production, it’s like workers lore.’ ‘You think it’s real?’ I asked directly, feeling my way into Mr Hames psychological profile. ‘Pssssh…No.’ Hames said, ‘If only. No……i’ve never seen any of the alleged footage if that’s what you’re asking. Although i’ve heard plenty of rumours,…worked with people who claim to have seen it…worked on it….’ ‘Interesting. When you were working at Three Vertice construction company did anyone mention Slaughter Theatre?’ I continued... ‘Huh?’ Hames looked at me curiously, ‘Funny you should ask that. Well…first up.. I should tell you, I never actually went to Three Vertice Construction yards.' 'What?' 'I was working on editing some test filming they were doing, that much is true. But everything I did was based out of Hapless Creative Studios in Brunswick. That’s the production company who outsourced freelance editors for the Three Vertice job. I mean, I saw a lot of the construction yards, I watched the same footage about a million times over, you know. But physically I never set foot there.’ ‘Right,’ I said, not having considered this, ‘But you were in contact with other production staff? You must have dealt with Mark Virafi, the cameraman, at least…. i’m guessing?’ ‘Oh sure. Mark came in all the time, to give me the SD cards with the footage on them… you know…’ ‘It’s funny’, I said, ‘I couldn’t get through to him, Mark, I mean…do you know if he’s changed his number?’ ‘I haven’t spoken to Mark in over a year, actually….I ….heard something ….happened to him….. earlier in the year. A car accident or something.’ I tried to trace my line of reasoning for being here, had to keep drilling if I was going to hit oil; ‘What about Drendyl Pex, did you ever meet him?’ ‘The Director?’ Lumborg asked? ‘No…' I replied skeptically, 'The owner….. of Three Vertice Construction.’ ‘Oh…. right…’ Lumborg gave a strange look, ‘To be honest, the moment you asked me about Slaughter Theatre my mind went somewhere else. See the truth is, I…… I did have massive conversations about Slaughter Theatre whilst I was working on the construction videos. You…probably… should speak to my friend Ted Stevens… my understanding… he’s worked for …Mr…Pex quite a bit in the past— in fact that’s how I got the job at TVC in the first place. Ted lives in Richmond not far from here, I can take you round to his place, i’ve been meaning to visit him for a while—to see if he’s got any work going—‘ ‘That would be great.. Do you think you could call him now?’ ‘Sure…. um…’ Lumborg was strangely and increasingly hesitant, pulling out his old school mobile phone, then pausing and lowering it again; ‘…you’re not squeamish or anything are you?’ ‘How do you mean?’ I asked. ‘Well— it’s just. Ted, and his partner, the company they run….. well it’s kind of a porn company. There’s a good chance they’ll be filming and…. well I just wouldn’t want you to feel weird about—‘ ’That’s fine— I have no problem with that…‘
That afternoon turned out to bear strange fruits indeed. I drove, whilst Lumborg directed me to the house, (and home office studio) of Ted Stevens and Dorothy Lench, an odd and highly eccentric Melbourne couple I was about to learn way more about than I ever bargained for. They lived on a fairly well to do street of Richmond, with nice terrace houses lining the leafy streets. As we left the vehicle Lumborg told me that he had called Ted, and they were expecting me, but he suddenly grew strangely timid, and it took a moment to draw it out of him, he was anxious about being on a pornography set, and wanted to know if it was ok if he left me to it. Of course, I consented him to depart, and shortly I was knocking on the strange ornate door, with the delicately carved metal knocker shaped like the logo for the 1992 ‘Bram Stoker Dracula’ film.
I heard shuffling footsteps slowly coming to the door, and finally the mahogany opened to reveal a strange man, with a quiff of black hair with a grey streak, a pink nightgown, slightly open to reveal a hairy chest…. and bunny slippers; ‘Oh helloooo…. you must be Mr Dronefire? I’ve just been speaking to Lumborg…’ the man observed. ’Ted Stevens?’ I asked confounded, not expecting a man of this…. calibre to answer the door. ‘Marvelous…. an actual private investigator… what a fantastic character study..’ Ted said… ‘We have P.I’s in our productions all the time, but i’ve never met a real one… Dorothy? Dorothy?? You have to come and meet our real life— Private Dick…’ A feminine voice called out from a room far down the long hallway, and shortly thereafter a bright, and sprightly figure hopped and scampered down the hallway, she was wearing a costume straight out of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, puffy red skirt and fishnet stockings. Dorothy Lench had far less enthusiasm in her face however, she pouted mysteriously, but her eyes scrunched up in a kind of scowl. ‘Whadda we need a P.I for? We’re shooting a bleedin’ outback scene, it’s a bloody desert fuck…not a noir….’ ‘Im terribly sorry..’ I interjected, ‘I hope i’m not interrupting your work. I’m doing some inquiries into an urban legend surrounding a series of videos——’ ’Oooh fuck me…’ Dorothy burst out laughing, ‘He is a real Private Dick isn’t he. Mandy, what’d’you think of our new Dick?’ A voluptuous blonde, naked from the waist up, with thick, heavenly hair bobbing around her shoulders was now walking up the hallway. I felt my eyes drop nervously to the floor, enchanted by the bare woman’s beauty, as she came closer, her features grew more and more recognisable. Ted meanwhile had draped a long, fluffy scarf around me like he was decorating a christmas tree, his large grin showed an innate mischieviousness, and the freckles on his face added to this impishness; ‘Forgive us, we get terribly excited when we have guests on set. Production can be very stressful, you understand, we work hard, we play hard. Now Mandy, I think you are making our friend here VERY hard.’ I blushed, unable to contain my secret awareness silent; ‘Forgive me. uh….madam… But you’re Mandy, from the “Mandy is randy Down Under” series, aren’t you?’ I blushed. ‘Mandy Thumbridge.’ The buxom blonde stated proudly, ‘You’re a fan of my work?’ ‘I’m aware of the—’ I confessed. ‘Oh come now—‘ Ted scolded, leaping about the room like a mad pixie, ‘Be honest young man, it’s ok to admit to watching pornography. Besides this woman is an artist. You needn’t be ashamed to confess that you like art. Need you now?’ ‘She’s a wonderful actress’ I allowed. ’She’s a goddess` Ted elaborated, ‘All we school boys can do is worship, at the altar of Venus…’ as Ted Spoke, Dorothy Lench had returned to the room carrying an actual carving of the Greek Goddess, placing it in the centre of the hallway, the two mad producers then proceeded to dance around the statue in their grotesque costumes. Mandy Thumbridge, the porn star, meanwhile crossed her arms over her bare chest and turned a mocking expression and lippy pout. She was pure eroticism, I found I had to avert my gaze continually.
Ted was evidently quite high, and had become totally distracted, both from his work, and from my investigation, and he was now completely absorbed in his strange ritualistic dance around the statue of Venus. As he chanted, and mimicked cliche native American gestures, he murmured strange turns of phrase, which sounded as though they had come out of an abandoned script for some demented horror production; ‘Gods, pixies and elves, dancers on the periphery of our imagination, we are married to the Goddess of lust, bring us our givings, before ol’ Cronus, god of time cuts our days short, and ends this marvellous Saturnalia, ho….hum… ho…hum…. Shiva the destroyer, grant us this day of sin….’ ‘Excuse me—‘ I interrupted, quite fed up with the parlour games, ‘I certainly don’t want to rain on your parade, but i’m afraid the reason for my visit is a rather sombre one. I’m investigating two murders which occurred in the last two years.’ Ted and Dorothy stopped their joyous dance, and came to a standstill, as Mandy scrambled to put on a bra. ‘Well… that’s a bit of a buzzkill, isn’t it?’ Ted scoffed. ‘Mr Stevens’ I asked impatiently, ‘Are you aware of rumours surrounding a snuff video known as ‘Slaughter Theatre’ or the Slaughter Theatre trilogy. A cold expression suddenly took over everyone’s faces, Ted grimaced and Dorothy began to lurk in the background. ‘Well…. of course we have…. Mandy learned about death that way, didn’t you babe?’ Ted commented rather coldly and cruelly. The beautiful Miss Thumbridge suddenly burst into tears, and covered her face with her hands, retreating to one of the other rooms. I could gather the momentum to do little else than stare spellbound.
‘I’m afraid that’s a rather sore subject matter Mr Dick’ said Ted, as he and Dorothy fell into a faux traumatic hug with one another.
I indicated with a gesture that I was going to follow Miss Thumbridge and ask her some questions; ‘Do you mind if I—‘ Dorothy and Ted both waved their hands as if to tie their hands from it, ‘Go ahead’ Ted said anxiously.
As I walked down the hallway I could see a large production set in the far room, filled with cardboard cutouts of cactuses and other cliche desert backgrounds. I could hear sobbing emanating from one of the side rooms, and moved to open the door. The room I entered was also decked out as a kind of film set; a science fiction style scene of alien geography of a foreign planet, with a lush queen sized bed out of place in the middle of the mars-like terrain. The walls and roof were black, with recognisable stars and planets in the background. Mandy was sitting on the expensive pink bed and weeping profoundly. I was relieved to see that she had covered up.
I sat next to her on the bed; ‘Miss Thumbridge’ I said gently, ‘I’m very sorry that you obviously have something deeply sad which has affected you. But I must push you, as two young women have been murdered, and anything you know about this snuff trilogy may help get to the bottom of the crimes.’ Mandy looked up through large, manga eyes, her face flushed and covered in tears; ‘Of course I want to help’ she sobbed. ‘You obviously have some kind of story about this.. you worked on—‘ ‘— I don’t know if it was a body… you see all kinds of things on set. You don’t always ask questions. Especially when you’re a naughty picture actress. Sometimes it’s just nice to have a real part, where you don’t have to take your top off and perform oral sex, y’know?’ ‘What pictures are you talking about Mandy?’ I asked, ‘You feel like you saw something unusual on one of the sets you worked on?’ ‘I don’t really feel comfortable talking about it’ Mandy looked down coyly. ‘Just give me something to work on Mandy, anything? The name of the people who filmed you. Something…’ I begged. ’It was…. i’m sorry… i’m sorry… I can’t… Talk to Ted and Dorothy… they know as much as me…. please….’ Mandy burst into tears again, and I rubbed her back consolingly, then quietly, I departed the bizarre outer-space set.
Ted and Dorothy were now sitting on couches in the main foyer, their body language had become closed and they were no longer happy or enthusiastic looking. I walked into the centre of the foyer, trying to appear vulnerable. ‘Mandy is very upset, but she seems to think that the two of you might be in a better position to tell me about whatever compromising scenario she was placed in on one of the sets.’ Ted looked at Dorothy with appreciable mental strain, both were not liking the angle of questioning, so I tried to take an alternate route to the destination, interrupting their thoughts; ‘You two are married, or in an open relationship? I don’t mean to pry….’ The question worked perfectly, exactly as I had hoped. The two clearly thrived on sexual controversy, and loved nothing more than to gloat their eccentricities to a conservative audience; ‘Typical assumption you’d expect from a CIS white male, unfortunately Ted and I don’t fit so neatly into your census form boxes.’ ‘My partner Dorothy identifies as gender fluid, bisexual,’ Ted said proudly and pretentiously; ‘And as for myself, I mostly prefer the description of Pan——sexual, if one must have a sexual tag-line at all. I’d suggest that your prejudiced question itself was an act of violence… but no doubt you’d brand me a social justice warrior, and jump online with your white supremacist friends, or bring your thug cronies around to lynch us, or brand us satanic pornographers and call the police.’ ‘Mr Stevens, I meant no offence.’ I said, ‘I only ask, because i’m interested in Mandy. Do you often participate in the sexual acts in your films yourselves? Is Mandy frequently called to engage with unknown actors or actresses.’ ‘Everything we do at our studio is extremely safe…’ Ted snapped, my plan was working, ‘We have never compromised our actors or actresses, or made them do anything that wasn’t stated clearly in their contracts when they agreed to work… as for other studios, Pex and his crew… I have no responsibility for what happens.’ ‘I’m sorry…’ I asked, ‘Drendyl Pex?’ ‘Sure.’ Ted said without thinking, ‘You didn’t know he was a director? Surely you must have realised that Three Vertice Construction was a front for other business ventures.’ ‘Drendyl Pex works in the porn industry?’ I asked. ‘Drendyl Pex runs the porn industry…’ Ted affirmed with vitriol. ‘And Mandy, she’s worked for Drendyl…’ ‘Listen….’ Ted said standing up, ‘I’m very happy to help a friend of Lumborg Hames, but I don’t think i’m going to be able to help much more with your line of questioning.’
Slowly, but surely, Ted escorted me to the front door, as Dorothy ignored me, and sobbing still reverberated through walls —from the other room.
I left the Stevens house feeling even more highly strung and on edge.
The next few months were an all consuming blur, fully strung up on the case, I investigated every avenue of intrigue I could. I spoke to countless people in the creative industry who were inadvertently linked to Drendyl Pex. There were many rumours and bizarre stories about the eccentric secret head of the vice industry in Australia. Legends had Drendyl Pex known to wear velvet capes, and strange masks during his directorial stints, orgies and wild parties.
I spoke to someone who had worked on scripts for Drendyl Pex’s production company, the bizarre horror stories had grotesqueries straight out of the Grand Guignol. Every mention of the plots created by Pex’s crew, never failed to embellish the perversity, utter distastefulness and horrendously realistic gore depicted in the films.
Nonetheless, I grew tired of all the hapless hearsay. So many accounts presented the facts of the trilogy, as something that could and had been found, countless times, in second hand stores or on the shelves of private VHS collectors. So I began to spend my weekends trawling through garage sales all over Melbourne, I called private collectors, searching through their immense VHS and DVD collections. I met the owners of ex-video store rentals, went to reverse garbage yards and pawn shops, but never once came across the mysterious VHS tape emblazoned with red letters.
I knew I was getting close to the truth, but something about the things I was learning made me abysmally afraid. Another strange occurrence happened when I showed up at a media industry party. I had attended the event only because I knew certain people who were connected to Pex’s alleged productions were going to be there. Ted Stevens brother was there, Gerald, a producer, also a number of actors who had worked in the same pornography films as Mandy Thumbridge.
It was a costume party, rave, in a secret nightclub decked out in the third floor of the heritage-listed, historic, Royal Exhibition building. As I walked through highly intoxicated and drug addled crowds at the rave I was awestruck by the bizarre costumes and ornate antique decorations adorning the hall. I passed a couple dressed as Azaria Chamberlain and a full-sized man-dingo costume, then came a group of Australian Prime ministers, their intricate plastic masks were quite impressive; Bob Hawke, Robert Menzies, Gough Whitlam. Electronic music played as I walked through the crowds, trying to observe whilst still blending in, a group of drunken louts had noticed me and were laughing and pointing, their costumes; a biker, a soldier, an indigenous warrior and a doctor —resembled a kind of Village People ensemble, all the while strobe lights provided a sinister ambience. One of the girls the village people men were with was wearing a Madonna style cone shaped bra, and was drawing a lot of hollering, wolf whistling and attention towards her. Meanwhile, a g-string donning Hitler was sitting on the bar, bearing fishnet stocking clad legs and talking to a group dressed as the Bali Bombers, and behind them there seemed to be the entrance to a much seedier part of the club.
I had seen Gerald Stevens earlier, along with other producers and creatives, but many of them had disappeared, and I began to think that perhaps Pex’s creatives were lurking somewhere out in the back of the club. I wasn’t sure if I would be permitted to enter, sure enough, as I tried to make my way, a solid looking gentleman dressed all in black blocked my way. ’Sorry sir, it’s invite only in our VIP section’. I tried the only argument that sprung to mind ‘I work for Drendyl Pex’ I said as confidently as I could. This actually seemed to work. The man barely questioned it at all, stepping aside and allowing me to pass through without identification.
What I found beyond the gates was more extreme and otherworldly than I had foreseen. The guests were similarly clad in outrageous costume, but there was much less casual reverie, and a lot more bizarre ritual in the back rooms. A woman dressed as an S&M fetishist whipped a cut-covered man dressed as Jesus on the cross. A group of Australian convicts with their legs bound in iron chains were similarly whipped by naked porn stars. Beyond the arches of the room, more pornography was being filmed on old style cameras. There were elaborate glass cubes attached to the ceiling, acting as erotic dance stages, where strippers holding multiple machine guns entertained jeering men beneath. My mind focussed in on a particular corner of the room, which was decked out like a gothic castle, sitting on red leather chairs, a group of men dressed as army officers were harassing a young and innocent looking school girl, who didn’t seem a natural fit to the scenes of debauchery around her.
I approached the soldiers cautiously, eaves-dropping on their conversation with the innocent looking girl. At first the conversation seemed typical enough, the soldiers egging the girl on, trying to persuade her into participate in something, perhaps some kind of illicit act. ‘Come on, please.’ They taunted and begged. But then a more sinister undertone came across in the conversation, that the nature of what the men wanted the girl to participate in became all the more menacing. Wether or not the suggested role play was linked to anything I had learned or not, suggestions that the girl be the soldiers ‘sacrifice’ to the god of dark matter, was more than I could take.
I shortly intervened, grabbing the girl by the arm and escorting her out of the strange party. She was annoyed at first, almost struggling, but later she seemed relieved I had given her the means to escape the uncomfortable scenario. Her name was Wendy Soames. I felt astoundingly like an overbearing father figure, but as I probed the girl about what the men had wanted her to do, and she explained that they were trying to get her to film herself being naked and being sacrificed in some sort of mock snuff film, I felt relieved I had acted as I did. I helped the girl to a cab, and solemnly contemplated things.
Back at home that night, I found even more to dwell upon.
I had been re-examining the files given to me by my private client. It was part of an old case I had been working on, the client who had wanted me to look into the murder in St Kilda was the same client who had wanted me to investigate a corrupt police officer by the name of Kenny Lothar. They were paying big money. What I was looking at now, was evidence that suggested a link between Kenny Lothar and Officer Barrington, my police contact, given that Barrington had supplied me with the details about Drendyl Pex, this was all starting to induce my paranoia. Could Barrington be linked to the exact police corruption he was adamantly preaching about? I had also found evidence that Pex was only a small time player in something much bigger, that he was on the payroll of very high income corporate players in Australia and abroad, big American media and gambling personalities, tycoons worth more than the Packers.
I had the most dreadful sense of peripeteia.
Rushing out that night, I had to learn the truth, had to find more information about Drendyl Pex, and his seedy company.
I knew I had to drive out to the construction site in Footscray that night. Which is precisely what I did.
The lines on the highway flew by in ominous and precise beats. A pyramid of tarmac stretched out endlessly before me.
Finally I arrived at Three Vertice construction.
Scaling the fence, I entered the empty yards, resolving to break into any of Pex’s various office spaces and search for some convincing evidence that rumours about Pex were true.
The yards were dark, and shadows played tricks on my mind. In a stark moment I was sure I had seen a masked and cloaked figure swish by in the darkness towards a precarious tower overlooking the tallest hills of the yard.
I broke into the trailer I had been in with Pex previously, rifling through drawers and sacking cupboards, but I found little of interest. Wherever Pex kept his paperwork, it wasn’t here.
Finding nothing, the strange tower on the hill returned to my memory, and possessed or infantile I walked zombie like back down the muddy slopes towards the silhouetted tower against the near full moon.
Quickly and anxiously my hands found the steel rungs of the ladder, and the clinking metal echoed as I climbed.
I tried hard not to look down at the long drop, into the oddly placed vat of wet cement beneath me. Continuing up the rungs of the tower, until I was nearly at the top. Finally I met my destiny, climbing into the dark space at the top of the tower.
I could see nothing in the darkness. Hear nothing, but my heart palpitating in my chest, and my heavy breath rasping wildly.
I felt the pain, before I heard the sound. It all happened so quickly, my thoughts only registered three facts; my fingers covered in blood as I reached at the holes in my chest. The darkness, no face, nothing visible — except the silver ---of a police issued handgun, shining in the darkness.
I was already unconscious by the time my plummeting body hit the wet cement beneath. Sinking into oblivion.
Read more of the exploits of Pharlap Dronefire P.I here;
submitted by GoityePowerhouse to libraryofshadows [link] [comments]

Arc 5 Readthrough

5.1) Somer's Rock is a bar in BB.
Kaiser is the leader of Empire 88. He wears full armor with a crown.
Fenja and Menja of E88 are busty blonde twins who wear Valkyrie armor and helmets. They can grow to be 3 stories tall which makes them extremely durable.
Krieg, Night, Fog, and Hookwolf are under Purity.
Night and Fog used to be based in Boston.
Most gangs recruit within their own city.
Kaiser by contrast recruits from all over the US. He as the most parahumans of any gang in BB. Most don't stay for long, though.
Purity creates solid light beams strong enough to destroy buses and brick walls.
Coil is taller than Grue but extremely skinny. He wears a full body black costume with a white snake on it.
He's a strategist. He controls half of Downtown with squads of ex military minions in high end gear. He's the only one in his organization with powers.
Faultline is in her 20s with a black ponytail. Her costume is a dress with armor.
Newter has orange skin, blue eyes, red hair, and a 5 foot long prehensile tail. Has a "u" tattoo on his chest.
Gregor the Snail is obese and hairless with white skin covered in snail shells. Has a "u" tattoo on his arm.
Labyrinth wears a green robe and mask.
Spitfire wears a red and black costume with a gas mask.
Faultline has a feud with Tattletale as they try to outsmart each other.
Faultline's crew are mercenaries who will take any job that doesn't involve murder. They've only failed at one or 2 jobs.
Faultline can find the hidden strengths in the people that work for her.
The Undersiders haven't failed at any jobs. That's important.
Faultline's crew has done 3 times as many jobs as the Undersiders.
Skidmark is black with chapped lips and gross teeth.
He's a drug dealer and addict.
He doesn't have the respect of other villains.
His subordinates are Moist and Squealer.
Kaiser speaks in a calm voice.
The Undersiders have respect because of the bank robbery and for beating Lung.
Skidmark is cowardly and only holds territory no one cares about.
The waitress at Somer's Rock is deaf.
The Travelers aren't local to BB. They all wear red and black costumes.
Trickster wears a black costume with a red mask and top hat. Looks like Baron Samedi.
His subordinates are a girl with a sun on her costume, a guy in armor with a square mask, and a four armed hairless gorilla.
The rules of neutral ground meetings are no fighting, no using powers, and no taunting people. Breaking rules causes everyone to attack the rule breakers.
Coil has a smooth voice.
The ABB has killed 35 people and hospitalized over 100.
The police and military are patrolling BB.
Being reckless is looked down on by villains because it brings the military and more heroes to the area.
Bakuda has over 300 minions with bombs implanted in their heads.
If she dies, all her bombs go off.
The video of the Undersiders escaping Bakuda is good for their reputation. So is pretending that they were unharmed.
Villains are capable of calling a truce, both with each other and with the police and military, to fight a bigger threat.
Faultline would work for anyone who pays her rates, even the ABB.
Coil talked to Faultline after the meeting.
Despite the truce, the villains are all plotting against each other.
5.2) Hookwolf is blonde with blue eyes and wears a metal wolf mask. He has a wolf and swastika tattoo on one arm and an E88 tattoo on the other arm. He wears only jeans and a belt with the wolf and swastika symbol on it.
His power makes metal sprout from his skin. Similar to Kaiser?
The Birdcage is in British Columbia.
Hookwolf is a murderer who escaped while being transported to the Birdcage twice.
He has a feud with Bitch since she attacked his dog fighting ring. Tattletale and Grue didn't know.
Only heroes call Bitch Hellhound.
Kaiser, Coil, Faultline, and Trickster lead their teams, while Grue only leads his team when it's necessary. The other villains would lose respect for him if they found out.
E88 attacks non whites and gays.
Hookwolf was out of town recently.
Insulting a villain requires money or blood as payment.
Skidmark is reckless and would start a fight in neutral territory.
Grue is stronger than Bitch.
Bitch not telling Grue about her actions made him look weak at the meeting.
Trickster smokes.
Bitch never apologizes.
Regent's power kickback can last for weeks.
Taylor still plans to turn the Undersiders in.
5.3) Weymouth shopping center is in BB.
Civilians have to be home at 6PM under the curfew. Stores close at 5:30.
Taylor talks about a duality between her and Skitter.
Battery and Shadow Stalker are protecting the mall with soldiers. Both are attractive but also controversial.
Bakuda's bombings have caused sales at the stores to try to counterbalance people's fear.
Manpower from New Wave was protecting the mall earlier.
Battery was head of the Wards a few years ago, and graduated to the Protectorate soon after. She's about 22.
The Protectorate changes the graduation dates to protect capes real ages and identities.
Battery's power lets her charge up by standing still in exchange for enhanced speed, strength, and electromagnetic powers.
Her costume is white, grey, and blue.
People speculate that her teammate Assault is her boyfriend, brother, or even both.
Shadow Stalker can turn into a smoky form and walk through walls.
She used to be a vigilante, and joined the Wards rather than go to jail.
She's supposed to only use nonlethal weapons but does anyway.
Her costume is grey with a black metal mask.
She's in her teens, about as tall as Taylor.
Battery is about 2 inches taller than Taylor.
Alan Barnes knows Danny. He's Emma's dad and has red hair.
Dockworkers have work with reconstruction and cleanup.
Mayoral elections are in the summer, city council elections are in the fall.
The current government doesn't want to reopen the ferry.
Alan is a lawyer.
One of Bakuda's bombs can turn people to glass.
Shadow Stalker has brown eyes.
Taylor tells her dad that Emma is the the bully.
5.4) Alan is tall and wide with a loud voice.
Emma has big tits. Catty Taylor points this out.
Madison's mom is small like her. Her parents are young.
Sophia showed up to the meeting with a blonde woman who was definitely not her mom.
Mrs. Knott is Taylor's homeroom teacher.
The principal is a skinny woman with a blonde bowl cut. She doesn't recognize Taylor.
The bullies full names are Emma Barnes, Madison Clements, and Sophia Hess.
Sophia is on the track and field team. She has gotten detention several times.
September 8th was Taylor's first day at school.
Mr. Quinlan is the math teacher.
There are gangs weapons, and drugs at the school. Some students have been badly injured.
Arcacia High is a good school with no gangs or drugs.
Sophia is one of the best runners in track and field.
Emma's dad is as means as she is.
Taylor's bugs react to her stress by approaching her.
Danny has a friend in the media.
Alan is a divorce attorney.
Lisa answers phone calls on the first ring.
Bitch is going to fight the ABB with members of the Travelers, Faultline's Crew, and Empire 88.
It's a 20 minute bus ride from Winslow High to the Undersiders base.
5.5) Coil proposed the idea of mixing and matching the groups so they couldn't betray each other.
Undersiders code: The first letter of a member's name, to be responded to with the last to make sure you aren't being held hostage. Then a green, yellow, or orange object to indicate the level of danger you're in.
Tattletale and Regent are with Faultline, Trickster, and the shapeshifter from the Travelers, as well as E88 members and Coil's soldiers.
Taylor's costume has a zipper.
Bitch only respects people who don't show weakness.
Skitter's power usually has a range of 2 blocks. On this day it's 3 and a half.
Skitter is being dropped off Northwest of the Undersiders base.
Bitch's power creates mass out of nothing.
Taylor's power also seems to rely on energy with no source.
Skidmark and the other Merchants had their base in an abandoned tourist shop that looked like a lighthouse. The ABB forced them out.
Bitch's dogs are the size of ponies.
Their group includes Kaiser, Fenja and Menja, the sun girl from the Travelers, Newter, and Labyrinth.
Newter can cling to walls.
He has blue hair and wraps around his hands and feet.
Coil's men have kevlar armor, baclavas, visors, and assault rifles. One has another rifle and the other has a grenade launcher.
Unlike everyone else, Skitter doesn't have a watch.
The attack starts at 4:48PM.
Labyrinth wasn't startled by Bitch's dogs. The normally calm Kaiser was.
5.6) Sundancer is the girl from the Travelers.
She thought the Undersiders were called the Outsiders.
She describes her group as intense, violent, and lonely. They have drama that makes hanging out not a fun time.
They rarely stay in one place for more than a week.
Taylor moved twice as a kid.
Newter has a prehensile tail. His eyes are solid blue with horizontal black pupils.
The ABB spray painted a warehouse they're using. Not very discreet.
Skitter thinks Newter is good looking if he weren't a mutant.
He claims bugs can't hurt him.
Sundancer can't use her power without seriously hurting people.
Ballistic is her teammate and has the same problem.
The ABB warehouse is full of 20-30 unarmed people in their underwear on the ground floor.
Bakuda's bombs are made of metal and plastic. They go off when humanoid forms pass them. There were 3 traps in the warehouse.
There are 10 armed people upstairs.
Newter runs on all fours. He can leap 15 feet.
His bodily fluids are hallucinogens. He disables living things on contact or even from a distance with his spit.
Kaiser blocked off Bitch from the upstairs with his blades.
Oni Lee and Lung are in the building.
5.7) Oni Lee's duplicates can act for a few seconds. They turn into white ash when destroyed.
One of Coil's soldiers is a sniper.
Bitch was stabbed in the arm.
Skitter's mask lens is damaged.
One of Coil's soldiers was knocked off the roof.
Skitter's bugs get cloned and teleport with Oni Lee.
Labyrinth's power makes checkerboard mazes.
She can't talk.
Oni Lee was shot in the leg.
Coil's soldier has a broken leg.
Sundancer has a gouged shoulder.
Taylor has Labyrinth sat behind.
The ABB were making drugs. The employees are in their underwear to keep them from stealing drugs.
Newter has a knife wound on his shoulder.
The ABB was raping their employees.
When Taylor was 5 or 6 she saw a meth head on the bus.
Several of her classmates left school due to drugs.
Brockton Bay has as many unemployed people as working people.
Taylor says "grody."
Sundancer is Caucasian and pale.
Newter is patched up with sanitary pads. Taped down on 3 sides so they can breathe. A subversion of Taylor's trigger event?
Bitch, Sundancer, and Taylor are strong enough to pick up Newter. He's about 180 lbs. Bitch and Sundancer are about as heavy as Taylor?
Taylor sends Bitch away to handle the injured.
Lung is 15 feet tall, covered in scales, and growing wings.
He lost his mask. His face is catlike, and his nose and mouth are on X shaped opening full of sharp teeth.
He has 6 ABB members with him.
Bitch doesn't care much about her team mates.
Fenja and Menja are 18-20 feet tall. One has a sword and shield, the other a spear.
5.9) Lung has a prehensile neck as long as Skitter's torso.
He has extreme reflexes, strength, and flexibility. He can easily throw Bitch's dogs.
He runs on all fours.
His fire can soften Kaiser's blades. He's strong enough to nreak the smaller ones.
Kaiser can manifest blades under people's feet.
Fenja and Menja are strong enough to knock Lung around.
Lung's fire is blue and yellow.
Fenja and Menja are vulnerable to fire.
Sundancer's power makes a sun strong enough to melt asphalt. She can control its direction.
It's hot enough to weaken Lung.
Kaiser impaled Lung through the heart, and he still regenerated.
Lung has red batlike wings covered in silver scales.
He's now 17 feet tall.
He slammed Kaiser into a wall repeatedly until he was unconscious.
Fenja has the spear.
He stabbed Menja in the stomach with a claw.
Her real name is Nessa.
Lung can disperse Sundancer's sun as she makes it.
Sundancer is immune to fire.
Lung knocked her aside.
Lung could have killed Skitter, Bitch, and everyone else present but toyed with them instead.
Lung was affected by Newter's venom in his eye.
Tattletale and Regent's team found Bakuda's workshop.
Lung can regrow an arm in a few months.
Skitter cut Lung's eyes out.
Bitch's dogs heal when they return to normal.
Skitter asked Fenja to see if Kaiser would drop the Dogfighting issue since she saved his life.
5.10) The ABB warehouse is at Whitemore and Sunset.
Sundancer is shocked over Skitter cutting out Lung's eyes.
Some of Coil's soldiers are trained medics.
Newter has fast healing.
Skitter's bugs took the ABB's money.
Newter touches Coil's soldier and Labyrinth with his hands with no effect. His wraps protect them?
Faultline's crew has several bases. They travel through the sewers using Labyrinth's power.
Newter can't get an infection. He's toxic to bacteria and parasites.
His power warped his body.
Labyrinth's power warped her mind. Sometimes she's lucid, other times she seems elsewhere.
She was rescued from somewhere. Her mazes are prettier than they used to be.
Skitter regrets not having a full helmet to protect her head.
She thought Bitch was going to kiss her.
She has bruises all over her from Lung.
Bitch carries dog food in her jacket.
Taylor's power hasn't affected her mind.
Bitch's power altered her mind to read body language better. It helps her communicate with dogs.
She has dog psychology, but it affected her ability to communicate with humans.
Tattletale doesn't trust Brian and Alec with this information.
5.I) Gregor the Snail has brown fingernails.
He hires people to run errands for hi due to his appearance.
He doesn't do anything illegal.
The pay is $400.
He has enemies.
He's about 30, 5 foot 10, and 3 times the average weight.
Palanquin club is 2 blocks from Lord Street. The sign is yellow.
Gregor used to work as a bouncer.
Newter is about 16.
Faultline openly discusses her jobs.
Gregor is Icelandic.
Faultline's crew had a job whee they went against Toybox, black market Tinkers a month ago.
They had a job in Philedelphia where they encountered Chevalier and Myrddin. They didn't lose.
Chevalier is the head of the Philedelphia Protectorate.
Myrddin is the head of the Chicago Protectorate.
People can't overdose on Newter's poison. It has no side effects and isn't addictive.
The bouncer in Palanquin is named Pierce.
Emily aka Spitfire and Elle aka Labyrinth share a room.
Emily has curly brown hair and freckles.
She has a Apple computer.
Elle is blonde.
Her power is strongest the less lucid she is. When she's fully aware, she has almost no power.
The Dragonslayers are villains who stole technology from the most powerful Tinker in the world. They're mercenaries and thieves.
Someone in an asylum in Boston knew about them and Faultline's crew got the information.
They fought the Boston Protectorate and recruited Elle from the asylum.
Faultline owns Palanquin as well as other businesses.
She has wavy black hair and sharp features.
Her power creates red and blue energy that manipulates wood, metal, stone, and plastic.
She cannot affect living wood.
She once toppled building on someone.
The Manton effect may be psychological and protect people from their own powers.
Gregor is stronger than Faultline.
He has thick skin and a layer of fluid protecting his bones and organs. His skeleton is flexible cartilage. He can be hit by a car without being injured.
A second trigger event is possible in life or death circumstances. It radically changes or improves their powers.
Monstrous parahumans with the "u" or "c" tattoo have been dumped all over North America. They all have amnesia.
4 out of 5 were monstrous at first.
A redheaded girl named Shamrock showed up in Las Vegas. She manipulates probabilities and has a bounty on her head for cheating.
She has a "u" tattoo.
Casinos have largely shut down due to parahumans who could cheat with their powers. Yet BB still had a casino?
People with the tattoo have been getting less monstrous over the years.
The Dealer was selling powers in a bottle in Tallahassee, Florida for $35,000.
His briefcase has the same "u" symbol on it.
One of his customers was murdered.
Sybill the Scarab has a beetle shell.
The makers of the potions have been getting better at it.
The Dealer stole the potions, as his customers didn't have tattoos.
The Dealer is likely dead.
Faultline's crew has a contract with Coil.
She has private investigators and wants to recruit Shamrock.
submitted by OniTan to TheBirdCage [link] [comments]

[Table] I am a mover who worked for 6 years. Both good and bad areas. Ask me anything

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2014-03-19
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Questions Answers
Have you ever had a customer get really upset? What happened? One guy called back an hour after we finished, screaming his lungs out. "YOU GUYS BROKE MY FUCKING CHAIR AND DIDNT EVEN TELL ME OR TRY TO FIX IT!!" "What's wrong with it?" "ITS FUCKING SNAPPED IN HALF" "the red lazyboy?" "YEA NO SHIT!!" "The backs come off for easier moving, sorry we forgot to re attach it, just line it up and it will fall into place" "OH...well...good to know"
That's kinda funny, you can see why he was pissed but I'm glad it worked out. Yea we had a good laugh. How would we expect to get away with snapping his favourite chair in half without him calling back haha it was a honest mistake but he was a dick about it
We hired movers last year and the first thing the driver says to me (after showing up 2hr late) is that normal tips are $50 per person. We had budgeted $20/person for tips and after the work they did that was more than they deserved. They tried to hold my tv hostage in their truck until they got their tips but told them they weren't getting shit until they brought in my only thing of actual value. Fuck those guys. How the hell do I find movers that aren't shady as fuck? Holy shit. I guess this is why so many people treated me like dirt. Look up reviews of the company, if you can't find any, call them. Just ask them about their insurance policy. That question can break owners or managers. The insurance, at least here, is by weight. It doesn't matter how valuable the item is, we are only legally required to cover its cost by weight. It's nothing, I can't remember numbers, but basically your 5000 flatscreen will only cost us 50. If you fish out that, or some other honest answer, stay on the line. My boss would follow that up by saying some shit like "listen, if we happen to break on of your valuables, we will work something fair out, I have a budget for that. I have no doubt that we will deliver your items with the most care possible" and we did. That bit him in the ass sometimes, but always saved face. Just ask a lot of questions, if they truly want your business, they will answer. If they get annoyed or brush you off, move on.
What is the least amount of items has someone requested you to move? Edit: I just noticed I didn't answer your second question. We did a lot of piano moves where it was just that. Also did some odd stuff like a electrical bed to storage, and people sometimes just hired us to move stuff around in their house that they couldn't.
Who has been your most interesting client? I got my finger pinched underneath a lazyboy chair I was carrying when the foot rest popped out. When I finally got it out, my finger squirted blood all over their carpet. Whoops. Went to the doctor for stitches, lied about where it happened, then went back to work. Another time we were pushing a dresser into the truck and it got jammed on my thumb. Link to I drove myself to get it popped bam in, then went back to work. I also had a dresser fall on me but I was not injured because I'm a tank. I was waiting for somebody to ask me your third question. I've moved nicklebacks dad, and the head coach of the oilers. I didn't know it was nicklebacks dad until the end of the day. "You like nickelback?" I SAID NO "oh well I'm chads father, want signed pictures?" So I took one and sold it to my friends mom haha.
"You like nickelback?" I SAID NO "oh well I'm chads father, want signed pictures?" So I took one and sold it to my friends mom haha. Easiest 5$ ever made. Truth
Do people give tips? Rich people never tip. Old people, and people who work physical jobs were the only tippers. That being said it was pretty rare, maybe twice a month.
Twice a month?!?!?! I get tipped just about every other job. I've had weeks where damn near everybody tipped. I've had a few good weeks like that, but yea I kid you not. You usually work at the same time he cable guy shows up. I've seen customers tip him for drilling a hole in 10 minutes, but tipped me nothing. I learned very quick to never hope for a tip because I'll be disappointed more then not. I did get a lot of people buying pizza, giving beers, offering water etc. That was more then enough for me!
Seriously no one tipped? I always tipped my movers... At least like $20-40 depending on the job. Yea man tips were very rare. Good for you though, it's nice to know not everyone is cheap! I'm starting to think maybe my boss pocketed a few 20's...
I am also a mover in new zealand and tipping here is amazing i can get 400 a week in tips had a job last week and my crew was tiped 500 before we steped in the door was only a 3 hour job I don't know if I should be happy for you, or sad for myself...haha. That's awesome!
What would you recommend as an appropriate tip? Flat amount or %? If you want to tip I would say flat amount. Maybe 10 bucks for a small job, 20 for a 8+ hour move. Only tip if you feel they earned it though, don't worry about breaking some unspoken law if they are dicks or mess up a bunch.
That doesn't make sense to me. Did your boss deal with the customers while you wait in the truck? I've done unloads and the cable guy was there. Rarely have I had to work around him though. Yea I would clean the truck while he squared up. I would always talk with the customers as soon as I finish, and go through the house with them. That would be when I would give the tip..but you have me thinking he probably pocketed some. The ratio of nice people to tips seem unbalanced now that I look back at it...The cable guy always seemed to be in our way. Alway leaving boots in the middle of the doorway haha and that cable guy probably has come across more asshole movers then I have. It felt like a unspoken rivalry hah.
I always feel like half a man, or less when movers are picking up refrigerators that I struggle to move an inch. Has a woman ever made fun of her husband's physical inadequacy in front of him? Haha yes there was this adorable older couple where the wife was teasing her husband. It was all in good fun, but it could have been taken wrong. "Oh Gary you only wish you were as strong as those lads" "I could lift that" "oh Gary you couldn't lift that 30 years ago, let alone today" hahaha.
Have there ever been any moving jobs where you said, "no, not moving that." Also, do you lift bro? There was one mattress that stunk of foul death. It had a weird yellow and green colour stained onto it. It was also a king, so you have to bury yourself in it to get them around stairs that turn 180. I didn't feel like getting HIV so I refused to touch it. There was also a homemade gun safe a guy built, which had loaded guns in it. He argued with us that there is no danger, but web he admitted he's not sure if the safeties are on, that was is. We also moved a hoarder but we actually moved her so I guess it doesn't count. Fuck that was gross tho
Hoarder? So if the TV show is right, you moved about 70 dead cats and two tons of expired food? That's totally was more like 33 dead cats and 4 flats of expired kraft dinner, let's be real here.
kraft dinner. Canadian alert. That's aboot right eh.
What's the most insulting experience you had as a mover? One guys kid was watching us struggle to get a fridge upstairs. He comes up to his kid, picks him up, and says to us "I bet you wish you studied harder now am I right?" How about I'm working this god damn job to save for my schooling. My boss supports his wife with 3 kids and he's the only working one. I hate how much people looked down on me.
What is the strangest thing you have ever seen in someone's house? I was finishing up a bedroom in the basement, only had the mattress and dresser left. When I ran downstairs to grab it, I saw something underneath the box spring. A little glass dildo. I run upstairs to grab my boss to show him, and I pass by the customer. She asked me "have you gotten everything out of my sons room downstairs?" WTF gross so my boss picks it up with vice grips and puts it in the dresser. Didn't want to ruin moms day. When we are carrying the dresser at the new place, the sons there. He hears this little glass thing rolling around in his dresser. His face went blood red. Also one customer had a holder for her kitchen knifes just loose in her kitchen. It was a figure of a small baby, with a knife going through the head, two through the eyes, one through the mouth, and one through the neck. The strangest thing was that everything was completely normal.
What are the strangest warnings (besides the don't drink the water) you have ever received before starting a job? Did you have to do cross-state moves? And where/ how long? Good question! We did a move in a seniors home one time. While we were working, a nurse lady came up to me and said "hey can you just keep a eyes on the door? Some people try to escape" WTF. I'm Canadian, the farthest move I did was from Edmonton, AB to Victoria island, BC. Those were the best, do half a job then hit the road. I would have my computer and watch movies while getting paid. Boss pays for hotels and food too. Driving the mountains in a truck at night is kinda sketchy. If I was not feeding my boss 5 hour energies, we probably would be dead, no joke. Long moves were the best, get paid for 2-4 days with only one load and unload!
Have you had an crazy ex stories? or divorce moving catastrophes? I saw a lot of divorces. Usually only one of the couple is there when we are. You can tell if it's a divorce if there is one guy home, a bunch of nice furniture and decorations...but we only take the big screen and a couch haha. One move we did, the lady said her husband cheated on her, and she's putting his stuff in storage. She had to work so she gave use a quick outline of what goes, then left. As we were clearly moving only this guys stuff out, he shows up. He starts freaking out when he sees his shit in our truck. He started to walk up the ramp, so I blocked him. It's your stuff, but it's my truck, and I'm not going to be responsible when you rip something down and killyourself. I told him he should call his wife. "EX WIFE" he shouted lol. After a heated phone call, his ego was checked. He politely asked if he could have a look in the truck to make sure she's not pawning off all the junk on him. I let him, he accepted what was happening, and left. My boss told me a story where one angry EX showed up, blocked his truck, and started makin threats while holding a shotgun. My boss locked the truck and called the cops lol.
That is one smart boss! thanks for answering so many questions! No problem! I will answer every question this thread ever gets hah.
Who was the worst customer? We moved a hoarder one time. Her power lines were sagging so close to her house, we couldn't get the truck close, so it was already extra shitty. We go inside and it looked like a bomb went off. First thing she says is "don't drink water from the tap, or collected some drinking water in this (gross ass) jug". The stuff she wanted moved, was literally piled up in the Center of the room. Each room was like that. Rust everywhere, stepping hazards, mice running around, flies in your face. She also smoked in the house the whole time which is another awesome thing people do. Words cannot describe how gross that house was. To top it all off, she wanted a discount because she overheard us complain about the mess. Some people are ridiculous.
Were you allowed to fire that customer? We fuckin should have lol.
Oh, i so would have.. man.. thats a health hazard!! Yea we had to actually wash the inside of the truck after that one. I went to sweep it out and everything kinda just...smeared. My boss said next time we are turning around if we see anything close to that again. I think he really needed the money lol.
Nobody is that desperate lol. I think the fact we did the job speaks for itself.
What is the hardest part of having a job that is 100% physical labor? Probably how little most people appreciated how hard I worked for them. I worked hard- non stop- so we could finish as early as possible. Most people don't understand how hard it is to safely move an entire household without damages. You would rarely get thanked for not screwing up, like perfection is expected. To bust your ass all day, only for the customer to be steaming mad about a small scratch on his wall he could fix for $1, is hard. Or when peoples water is already turned off. I always brought water but relied on filling it up at the customers house cuz I drink so much.
Have you ever thought of fabricating some sort of easement device to make moving easier? I.E. moving a big item, piano, bed, desk, etc. Think smarter not harder sorta thing. How much can you deadlift? :P. Honestly besides straight up pulleys and 4-wheeler dollies, there isn't much to fabricate. Me and my boss discussed this a lot. There are just too many X factors at every house that would prevent one fabrication from being applicable to everything. Besides some sort of exoskeleton. We thought of a design of a collapsable conveyer belt for boxes, but I doubt it would work IRL lol. There is a machine I saw that can move a piano with just one person operating it...but only to places with bigass spaces for it, wouldn't work in houses. I don't know how much I can deadlift because I never went to the gym haha. I could handle big tvs by myself. Customers would come running over when they see me and I would have to say "I got it" like 100 times. Never lift beyond your capability, you wont last long.
Where do people try to hide the sex toys? I saw a surprisingly small amount of sex toys. I didn't snoop through people's stuff so I probably unknowingly moved a lot. The people who do have them always seem to forget to check behind dressers. Just like when you were kids, your toys get forgotten down there.
Are you also a shaker? What.
A mover and a shaker. A business person who gets things done. ( too obscure?) Oh I see what you mean. I'm really good at talking to people and knowing what they want to hear...but I've always enjoyed working with my hands. I enjoy the fulfillment you feel after you work your ass off. Makes me think I earned my beer haha.
I read you're saving up for school. What do you want to study and what field would you like to find a job in the future? :) P.S. It's awesome you're replying to all the questions! :) I'm going to be a welder. I enjoyed it a lot in high school and the money is there, so why not haha. I have some buddies in the field already too. I'm hoping to get my own truck so I can contract. It's like printing money. Hey no problem, isn't that what these things are for? ;)
Fun AMA, How many people actually have nice well put together stylist homes? I would say like 60%. You have exceptions though, I've moved this women who's husbands own casinos. Her house was like a movie. There was construction going on but they had the all stone deck with big pillars and lion statues and such. The rock on this ladies hand was the size of a small meteor! Also moved some people who had secret rooms, library's with sliding ladders on the shelfs, designer bathrooms, man caves and more.
Did you ever have clients who broke down in tears when they saw you moving a sentimental object? Yes one lady had a small 2 foot angel statue in memory of her grandma who just passed away. She teared up when she asked us to be careful with it...which was not easy by the way. We spent extra time wrapping an padding the shit out of it after that.
How often do people say I don't need this item in my new place do you want it? All the time, but it's usually junk. I took three broken tvs.. I have gotten a few good things. Got a small popcorn machine movie theatre style. It had matching popcorn cups too. It worked for a bit lol. Got a glass oilers nightstand, but I'm not into hockey. Everyone has a couch or a bed or a chair they want to pawn off on you. If they don't want it for some reason, you shouldn't want it. That "I have no room" line is usually a lie haha.
Am I supposed to tip the movers??? I've never know the answer to this question. You tip them if you think they deserve it. It's not a job where the real money should come from the tips. It's not like how you should tip your waitress, in my opinion at least. If you see the guys working hard and they are friendly, a tip really makes them feel rewarded. If they are lazy and are making less-then-honest mistakes, don't feel bad about not tipping.
What is the grossest thing you have encountered over the years? I would say the hoarders house, but ill give you another answer. I had to clear out this guys shed, it had tires in it. The tires had spiders, isopods, ants, and other bugs ALL OVER IT. I'm a big guy, you would have laughed at how squeamish I was getting those tires. I still feel the webs in between my fingers.
What's the average people tend to have your type of job before they have to quit do to injury? Well most people who get into the moving business don't last a week, let alone long enough to be injured. There was a football guy my boss hired and he quit the same day lol. He stopped hiring people after that, me and him were all anybody would need. A third person typically just gets in the way when moving a single object (hot tubs excluded). However, you have people like my boss, who started the company and have been moving for 20 years. I can't believe that old man kept up with me. His pace would slow near the end but he still blew me away with what he could do. His hands were like sandpaper. Whenever I thought something was heavy, I remembered he's on the other end, and id be fine haha. You learn very quickly to lift properly. Doing anything for too long will eventually cause strain. It's not as hard on the back as everyone thinks, as long as you lift correctly!
Edit: Still blew me away. Not "Still blew me anyway" hahaha that's a autocorrect almost worth not fixing.
Whats the most messed up thing you moved? One guy had a life-size butler mannequin statue. The face was super weird, it was trying to be funny, but was more so creepy. He was holding a silver platter with a shoe on it. The guy said he uses the mannequin to show off his favourite shoe at the time. He had a name for it, and kept it in front of a mirror because he was "vain". I swear that thing would lock eyes with you in the truck. I didn't need to, but I wrapped pads all over his face so I didn't have that face poking through when I went to unload hah I never said anything because I'm pretty sure he had some issues, but it was still strange none the less.
I was expecting someone else! But it kinda made my day so take my upvote. Haha there was also a freezer we had to move one time. It was full of game meat, and we needed to get it on its side to get it out. So we grab a box and start packing the food. I came across a package small enough to fit in your said "vagina lips '04". The other meat was deer so...deer vagina lips? Any idea what the hell that would be doing in there? The family was from Poland if that helps...
Now it's getting intresting! Please continue! :D. I found a ladies missing cat she was missing for 2 days inside a treadmill. She asks us to keep a eye out for her before we started. I had to take the arms off the treadmill because it came down there disassembled and in a box. The wires go down through one arm into the base of the treadmill, so I had to unhook it. When I was taking the faceplate off the base, sure enough, there was this little kitten chillin in there. I went to grab it and it ran upstairs. Brownie points. Now I gotta save some stuff for other people ;) stay tuned hah
Poor me :( Ok well looks like no more questions are coming in so I will give you another story. This one is kind of gross, fair warning. One time I was late for work, I didn't get to do my morning routine. Including my morning shit. On the way to work, the grumbling stopped so I thought I was fine. Big mistake. About a hour into the job, the bubble guts hit me. I didn't want to shit in this persons house, they were always walking around so I knew they would notice. So I see a chance when they are busy, and I run downstairs to poop. I filled that toilet in 20 seconds flat. Wipe my ass and flush. It didn't flush. It started backing up. Panic hits me, I grab a plunger. I managed to fix it before a overflow. Phew. Leave the bathroom and both customers, and my boss, are standing outside the bathroom chuckling. All I said was "it's ok nothing broke". more chuckling. FML haha.
You seem to have an intresting job. If I would have lived near your company and I would move I would call your company to move and I would want you as a mover :p. Are there any embarresing stories for the costumer? Haha one job had a lot of expensive pictures. We wrap the shit out of pictures, and usually keep them wrapped until we finish. These customer were too excited. They stopped me at the door when I had something light, and they would take it from me. I told him it's fine but thanks, he insisted on it. This included pictures. I was bringing in one without a glass cover. He took it from me and started opening it. He started talking about how expensive and unique that this painting was. As he was taking it upstairs, he tripped. He fell on top of his painting, destroying it. He left the painting there, and walked downstairs. He was not waiting at the door anymore hah poor guy shoulda just let us do our thing.
Easiest job you have ever had as a mover? In a apartment, moving 4 suites down. We rolled everything on dollies haha.
Have you ever had an experience where you almost died/got hurt while moving something? We had to move a cast iron fire place down a set of stairs that turn 180 degrees. Don't know the exact weight, but if you know cast iron, imagine a 3 foot tall fire place lol. We had it strapped to a piano sled, and all padded up. The only part sticking out were the feet. I was going backwards down the stairs. When it went past the tipping point, I found out I was not Hercules. It came flying down the stairs, I managed to keep my balance, but it pinned me against the wall at the turn. Two feet went through the wall, and were about one inch from both sides of my stomach. That would have stabbed me no doubt. Another time we were moving a big entertainment unit upstairs. The stairs came up to a wall, with a room on either side. So the person at the top (my boss) needs to lift his end up. The person at the bottom has to stabilize and lift it when it hits the tipping point to get it on its side. He didn't communicate when he was lifting. Luckily I had enough strength to catch it last second. If I was ANY weaker, it would have fallen ontop of me and took me down the stairs with it.
Edit: get it on ITs side, not MY side lol.
What does your name exactly mean? Everything of mine is bigger then yours...haha.
Edit: the PFFF is me blowing air in a unimpressed fashion. I meant to put PFFT lol.
I'm not technically, but my uncle is a contractor so he calls me up if he ever needs extra help. That was maybe a week of working with him when that happened though. Ah I see. You are his lifesaver then, I can appreciate how valuable a extra hand can be, it would have gotten us out of a lot of jams lol good on you.
Moreover, is tipping something that is expected? Edit: Phrasing so I sound less like a jackass. Edit 2: So I sound less like a hookd on fonix gwaduaet. One customer tipped us 10 bucks and said "I was not sure if you are supposed to tip movers, so I googled it. It said if there are stairs involved, then you tip them" I told her I've had some crazy hard days with no stairs, and thanked her. I never expected a tip, but if your grabbing a coffee or lunch, offering makes me want to work harder for you.
I worked as a mover for a few months during school. I was only tipped once, but people would buy us coffee semi-regularly ... usually the same people who had everything organized and hassle free when we got there. Go figure. Yea I loved it when people prepared. I mean, I have no problem if you want to pay me to take apart your bed, unhook your electronics, clear off your furniture etc...but from a customers stand point, those are really easy things that can save you money! I don't know how some parents had 4 able bodied teenagers in the house, but let them sit around. Again, it's my job so it never bugged me, but from a parents stand point? That's free labour right there!
If you could rewind time to 6 years ago, would you of still been a mover or consider doing something else? No way bro, I have so many stories to tell. Not to mention my back and triceps are waaay to OP.
No offence but are you tall, skinny and amped up on uppers for most of the day followed by 6 beers later in the night, followed by 4 hours of sleep before you start work the next day? I'm tall, with a belly but a jacked upper frame and tree trunks for legs. I never worked while on any drugs, not even pot. The only thing I did on the job was have beers with the customers when we finished if they offered. I WOULD have six beers SOME night, but still usually passed out within a hour or two of getting home. Then I would sleep like a baby. Hard to believe right? We charged more because we gave a shit about our work. That's why people on a smaller budget would still use us. Nothing but good reviews.
Myy buddy worked for a few companies and everyone was as I described, strong like bull and worked their asses off. Yea I mean I did have some nights I probably drank too much. I never missed a day of work though. If I was sick or hurt, I would come in and just do what I can. Even if it's just taking light boxes. It was just me and my boss so if I didn't show up, the job didn't get done. I have a killer work ethic because of moving.
What kind of company did you work for? Was it an e-move company? Naw it was a little company my boss started after he got his business degree. I was the only employee, and I got paid in cash weekly. It was better money then I could make at any big shot moving company. He even let me drive the truck out in a never busy road. It was a stick, and the weight was a lot to get used to!
Man you should have started your own. They are easy as hell to start and you don't even need a truck. I was actually talking to my boss about taking over park moving. I was 18 at the time and already looking at owning a business lol. However after a few discussions, I found out he was in some financial problems. They weren't business related but they affected the business. He wanted way too much. He was proof you can have a house, put three kids through school and hockey, go on vacation twice a year, with only one moving truck. I know the money is there if I played my cards right. I just don't feel like working that hard my whole life haha. On top of the physical side, it's a super stressful business. I'm sure my boss is going to look like a pretzel when he's 60+. I'm glad had the job, don't get me wrong, but life long career? No thanks haha.
Fuck. I love it. I'd argue that keeping active keeps you young. That's true, but we weren't exactly just going for a little jog everyday haha. 5-6 days a week with 6-12 hour moves will catch up to you pretty quick!
What was the worst injury you had at the job? I've already discussed a few injuries in my earlier replies, check them out. There are a few more times where I was hurt however lol. When I first started, there was another guy working with my boss. He was such a burn out. When we were carrying the ramp to the front steps, I was going backwards. It was winter, and he's basically jogging so I have to match his pace. As I'm telling him to slow down, he ran me into a bunch of rocks. I fell backwards, head hit the concrete. I was pretty dizzy and had to sit down for awhile before I could walk straight. The ramp also fell into my guy and left a nasty bruise. The other guy didn't even understand how that was his fault! He's lucky I didn't get hurt, or feel the need to hurt him haha. I always communicate a lot when I'm carrying something with someone. Eventually you don't have to because you know what each other is doing. Pretty soon it was just me and my boss haha.
In case you're curious, this is in NYC, and the apartment requiring the COI was a fancy one in Manhattan. Oh I see, thanks for the insight. It's interesting to know how stuff works in other areas.
Have you ever told someone you wouldn't move their stuff because it was too disgusting? I've told customers that certain items were to dirty to take, but never a whole move. We COULD and SHOULD have not moved this hoarder one time, but whatever lol. I wouldn't move anything that was suspiciously wet, had a weird coloured stain, or smelt foul. I never felt bad doing it either, it's not fair to make movers grab your kids piss and shit stained mattress, do your kids a favour and throw it out!!
What is the most fucked up shit you saw in a person's house? The condition of this little girls room. The house was a mess all over, but even their small child's room was gross. Band aids and Kleenex everywhere, thick dust everywhere, dirty broken toys, bug carcasses, dirty mattress...I regret not calling CPS on that person. It was so bad I would classify her room as a hazard. Pretty sad stuff to see.
What is the nastiest thing you ever found in a house? This one guy had two pitbulls. He let them, or refused to clean, shit in the basement. There were at least 4 distinct smells of shit in the basement. We lay carpets down usually, but if that's how your floors are, forget it. I'm not bringing a shit carpet to the next house!
How many sex toys does the average household have? 69.
Last updated: 2014-03-23 23:10 UTC
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Top 5 Moments Rude Customers GOT OWNED! - YouTube

These crazy customers unleash the beast and bring the madness on these poor, angry employees in our newest count-around compilation of the Top 10 Craziest Cu... Get in the Halloween spirit with a cluster of costume contests & parties at the Palms Casino Resort in Las Vegas. Put on your best zombie face, sexiest costume, 80's attire, or simply show off ... Naked Waitress In Body Paint Serves Beer To Customers.The reactions are priceless as customers are caught off guard by the unexpected site of their waitress,... Hey LoveBugs , This video gives you an idea of what common outfits for bottle girls are , tricks and tips to getting the job & More ‼️Hope you all enjoy 😊C... Please consider supporting more content like this by becoming an AARP member: who worked at Hugh Hefner’s clubs remin... Come see me at Nikkei in Uptown Dallas!!! I'm one of the rookies lol Subscribe to keep up with me and this crazy thing I'm dealing with called LIFE! I promis... My wife is wearing sheer clothes in public Went to the Casino to watch Karaoke and the Halloween costume competition then off to the club for some dancing. Should women have to dress sexy to serve you a sandwich? Charlsie Agro goes undercover to apply for a job serving in popular family restaurants. To read more... Top 5 Moments Rude Customers GOT OWNED!Subscribe for more DAILY VIDEOS!