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In KC for work through New Years, should I book my hotel at the Casino over the river or in KC?
I've never been to the area before. Should I book just North over the river at the casino or more in the city? I'm working over at GM after Christmas through New Years Eve and New Years and want to find something to do! Since I can't be with my friends is there anything good for New Years in KC? What do you guys think?
EDIT #1: Background: Here's alinkto the competition. Basically, ~1100 gamblers sign up for a contest in Vegas ($1,500 buy-in). Each makes 5 picks against the line every week. So, that gives you a solid 5,000-6,000 picks to gaze at before the games begin. The payout is in the millions, I believe. I saw a post about the Westgate competition, and decided to look into building a spreadsheet to see if it is at all predictive. A common criticism is that most sites pulling this data are aggregating their picks across all submissions - including those made by bettors with poor records. So, I decided to scrape all of the data but narrow it to picks made by those amongst the top of the standings. Last week, I looked at everyone who was 4-0-1 or better (sample of 44 bettors, 220 total picks made). Overall, this sample performed at about chance levels (8-8 on consensus picks, 53% of picks made were on the right side). However, the top-5 picks (KC, NYG, GB, BAL, & SF) did well (4-1). So, I figured I had mixed results heading into this week. This week, things have gone off the rails. I looked at everyone with an 8-2 record or better (sample of 68 bettors, 340 total picks made). I know the results are early, but so far the consensus picks (NYG, ATL, NE, TEN, JAX, PIT, BUF, & WAS) are a shit-show (2-6 record). Only 34% of the picks made have been on the right side of the bet. Further, the top-5 picks (NYG, ATL, NE, TEN, & ARI) are 1-3. Within this subsample, 29 bettors picked NYG against only 2 that picked SF. This is particularly surprising, because I have noticed this pool takes a lot of favorites (~65%) and this was a particular line that jumped out at me as not giving the Giants very many points. Again, way too early to draw meaningful inferences from this data - but so far, fading Westgate would have been the optimal strategy. Overall, those at the top of the standings have gone 10-14 (42%) at the consensus pick level or 176-218 (45%) at the individual pick level. I'll track it for a few more weeks and can share the results if you degens are interested. EDIT #2: Final numbers from today: The consensus picks went 5-10. Only 39% of picks were on the correct side of the bet. If you focus only on the top-5 most popular picks, those picks went 1-4. YTD: 13-18 (top-5 picks are 5-5). 239 of the 538 (44%) of the picks have been on the right side of the bet. EDIT #3: The correlation between week-2 performance and week-3 performance is 0.038 (p=.195). In other words, performance in week-2 did not significantly predict performance in week-3, even if you consider all 1,150 cases.
A Vegas Miracle - how I won $129,000 in my 3rd tournament ever
This is how I won $129,000 in my 3rd ever poker tournament. Note: don't try this, it probably won't turn out well for you. I spent about 6 months grinding up a $5,000 bankroll playing home/casino games ranging from .5/1 to 1/3. The week that I hit that $5,000 mark, Matt, one of my best friends from college informed me that his job had placed him in Las Vegas for the next month and that I could crash with him for a few nights if I wanted to come on out west. I had frequent flyer miles for the flight and some Mlife/Fremont hotel comps for the rest of the trip. My grand total for flight and lodging for 10 days came to $200. Now, I’m not going to bore you guys with low-level cash hand histories. The next 10 days were filled with me playing lowstakes poker for 10-12 hours a day. It’s as fun as it sounds – it’s not. I was having a good time in Vegas otherwise – but towards the end of the trip I had a realization: 1/2’s the same everywhere. I didn’t have to fly out to the desert to raise to $7 preflop. After 10 days, my grand total from poker (and a fair amount of dumb degenerate shit on Fremont) was -$186. That wasn’t what I came out to do — I knew that I was a better player than my recent results had indicated. The morning of my return flight, I decided I was going to play tournaments until I either busted my $5,000 bankroll or hit something worthwhile. I impulsively decided to not get on my plane at 11:30am. Checkout time from Luxor was at 11:00 – and I didn’t know where I was going yet. I had 30 minutes to pack up my stuff and figure out where I was going before they’d charge me a fee. I sorted TripAdvisor by cheapest first – I’ve stayed in crappy hostels/motels before and overall am a very low maintenance person. I figured that by staying somewhere for $20 a night, I’d be able to maximize the amount of shots I could take before flying back home. I accepted that there was a real chance I’d go back broke – but I didn’t really care. If I didn’t take my shot now, then when? I booked the cheapest bed in Vegas - a 6-person shared hostel just past the Stratosphere. Let's just say you get what you pay for — it was not a happy place. A fair amount of the people in there were bordering on homelessness and there was barbed wire surrounding their outdoor gym. In addition to this, I had the constant stress of knowing that all that separated my bankroll from the rest of my roommates was a tiny lock. I took the Deuce to the strip, lived off food comps, and turned down invites from my friends to hang out. I was in town to play poker, nothing else. Disclaimer: I had never played tournaments prior to heading out to Vegas. My only knowledge of hand ranges was from watching televised events. I downloaded a free Nash chart app on my phone while on the Deuce to the strip and studied it for 5 minutes – whatever, I get the jist of it. Let’s play some cards. The first day of doing this I played the $140 daily at the Aria. Top 13 spots paid -- I finished in 15th. It was depressing to say the least — I felt as if I was at rock bottom. Before the first night of sleeping at the hostel I called the airline to see if I could get on the flight that I had deliberately missed the day prior. I couldn't. I made it my goal to at least cash something so that I could get a decent hotel room. I couldn’t have slept more than 2-3 hours the first night there. One of my roommates was loudly vomiting all night, the sheets itched, and I was going through an existential crisis... like dude, you’ve got a finance degree and you’re really doing this shit? While on the bus to the strip, I opened Poker Atlas and saw that there was a $200 satellite to win a seat into the $1,600 Venetian main event. I decided that I was going to go take a shot at that. I was at risk twice in the satellite but after studying the GTO method on how to win coinflips, I persevered and won a seat to the main. The first day was surreal – once again, I was running on minimal sleep due to my housing arrangements, but I remember the following hands from day 1:
Button opens to 2.2x, I’m in the BB with Q9cc. SB folds, we go HU to a flop of 832c. He c-bets, I call. Turn 4x, x/x. River Ax. I check, he bets, I x/r to like 3x his bet, he insta folds. I take it down and show air.
UTG+1 opens, MP calls, I flat on the button with K10ss. 3 ways to a flop of Qs43xx. UTG+1 bets 40% pot, MP calls, I call. Turn is the Js. UTG+1 bets 60% pot, MP calls, I flat. River comes the 8s. UTG+1 snap bets 80%. MP flats, I flat. I announce king high flush, they both muck.
Folds to the SB, he limps, I look down at Q10o, and check. Flop comes KQ6r. He leads 35%, I call. Turn 10. He bets, I call. River comes a J. He bets, I tank for about 45 seconds then flick in a call, he shows 76o… ship it.
The average stack after day 1 was around 40k, I bagged like 65k. I walked back to the Deuce stop outside of the Venetian and headed on my 30 minute ride back home. I kept thinking to myself, someone’s gotta win this thing, why not me? I had to get in the money for this tournament to be able to get the fuck out of there. A min cash here was over $3k – that was more than enough for me to get a suite on Fremont for a few nights and party for a bit, then get home with my head held high. Day 2: I get up at 7am after already being completely awake for the past 4 hours. There’s no way I slept more than 3 hours last night. I hit the Denny’s by the Stratosphere then get on the Deuce. I get to the Venetian and feel like I’m about to fall asleep. I go to the self-serve coffee/tea dispenser in the middle of the room and make myself an iced coffee. I get to my table, and the cocktail waitress comes around. I ask for another iced coffee and toss her a fiver. Here are some highlights from the 1st half of day 2:
I open 97ss on the button, BB flats. Flop comes AK3s. BB checks, I bet 35%. He throws out a 5k chip – which I interpret as a x/r to my bet. I groan, make a joke about it being the first hand of the day, and start to muck. The dealer stops my cards midway before hitting the muck, and informs me that he didn’t raise, that he called my flop bet. Everyone laughs, I go silent and wait for him to make change. Turn is the 2s. He thinks for a second and bets 30%. I tank for like 30 seconds, then flat. River is a blank. He thinks for a second, then checks. I bet like 30% pot. He tells me that I’m an angle shooter and mucks. I tell him I’m not an angle shooter and show my 9 high. Everyone laughs, we get on with playing.
CO opens, I 3b 87dd in the SB to 4x, he flats. Flop comes 1032d. I check, he checks. Turn is the 6d. I bet 55% pot, he flats. River comes the Kd. I bet 60%, he tanks, tells me he thinks I backdoored diamonds, then folds. Damn, these players are pretty good.
I open KK UTG to 2.5x, UTG +1 flats. Heads up to a flop of K43r. x/x. Turn 8, I bet 40% pot, he calls. River 3, I bet 80% pot, he tanks, then calls with AK.
I bring my 3 racks of chips to the new table and immediately get some comments – whatever, I’m just on a heater, it happens. At this point, my body was giving out. I was trying my hardest not to fall asleep in between every hand. Cutoff opens, I’m in the SB, I look down at KK. I put in the 3b, folds back to him. He puts in a healthy 4. We’re the two big stacks at the table – I’d guess he was 50bb effective while I was around 65bb. God damn, am I good enough to fold kings here? No, I’m not. I shove, he snaps, I know that I’ve just fucked up my tournament. He shows the aces. The dealer puts a king in the window, and I hold. I’m for sure the chip leader now. I lose a few 40/60 and 60/40 flips and chip down a bit. I still have a very healthy stack, probably around 80bb. The next 3 hands are from the second half of day 2:
Aggro Asian guy on the button. Folds to him, he opens to 2.2x, SB folds, I look down at 43ss and raise to 7.5x, he flats.
Flop comes 894cc. I check, he bets, I call. Turn’s another 9. I check, he bets 75% pot, I call. River’s the 10c. I check, he bets 1.2x pot. I ask the dealer for a count of the bet – meanwhile, villain looks like he’s going to shit himself. I flick in a chip, he throws down KcQx. I laugh a little, show my 43ss, and obnoxiously say ship it.
I open KQo UTG+1, MP 3bets me. I figure that a 4b from UTG+1 could take it down a fair amount of the time, so I decide to go for it. He thinks for a second and flats.
Flop comes AK4r. I check, he checks back. Turn is a 6, goes x/x again. River’s another brick. I put in a 30% value bet. He does a little grimace and tanks for like 20 seconds. It looks like he’s going to fold so I start verbally telling him that his queens are good. The dealer informs me that you’re not allowed to talk about your hand to another player. I inform him that I’m not talking about my hand, I’m talking about villains’ hand. Dealer laughs and lets me continue to antagonize villain. MP starts talking back, asking if I’m really bluffing. I inform him that once he folds, I’ll show the bluff. He ends up calling, I snap show, he pays me then gets up from the table to go for a walk.
We’re playing 6 handed. UTG opens, MP flats, I flat TT on the button. 3 ways to a flop of AT9ccc. UTG bets 50% pot, MP folds, I put in a medium sized raise. He thinks about it and flats.
The turn is the Kd. He pauses for a second then checks. I figured AxKc was his most likely combo. I didn’t think he could fold AxKc to any sizing – I decide to overbet jam 2x pot. He tanks for like 5 min and eventually lets it go. He tells me later he folded AxKc. Nice fold sir. I finished day two 2nd in chips out of the 64 players remaining. More importantly, I was in the money. My friend Matt offered to give me a ride to the hostel to grab my stuff. On the way to the hostel I’m telling Matt how trash the place is and he’s kind of like yeah man, whatever, it can’t be that bad. We gather my belongings and head on out. Matt remarked to me that the hostel reminded him of jail mixed with a summer camp. I open a same night hotel app and see a room at the Four Queens available for $110. The lady at check in was nice enough – however, she informed me that the only room they had available at my price point was a smoking room overlooking the Fremont St. experience. I paid the $20 to upgrade to a non-smoking in the quiet part of the hotel. Vegas man, I swear. It’s like 2am at this point -- I get to my room, sit on the bed and close my eyes. I open them and it’s 11:00am. Ah fuck man, I gotta get to the Venetian. I hop in the shower, brush my teeth, and freshen up. Even if I don’t have clean clothes, whatever, I’m second in the main, who cares. Some interesting hands from the first part of Day 3:
I had two inexcusable punts in this tournament. This is the first one: I open 5h5c from LP, BB calls. Flop comes J62hhh. x/x. Turn is a 4x. x, I bet 50% pot, BB jams 15bb. I called – and immediately realized I fucked up, big time. He had 2 big chips in his stack that I didn’t see, making his shove effectively like 25bb. In addition, I didn’t have the 5h, I had the 5d. I really didn’t ask for a count or double check my hole cards. Villain turns over 64o and holds. In my defense, I literally didn’t know what ICM meant at the time. Whoops.
Someone who I recognize from poker TV jams 22bb UTG. I’m in the CO with JJ, I ask him how much it is, he’s talkative and seems genuinely comfortable/down for me to call. I fold – I run into him a few days later at the Aria, he tells me he had AA there. I believe him.
CO opens, button instantly jams 30bb effective. I’m in the SB with TT and 25bb – live reads, we’re flipping. I call for all in my effective stack, CO folds, button has AQ. I hold. He’s not happy I called with tens. Oh well, sorry bro, gg.
MP opens, CO 3 bets to 7bb, button jams 20bb. I look down at 2 black aces in the big blind. I reshove, MP folds, CO calls off his 20bb stack. I’m up against AQ and QQ. I hold.
Even with my atrocious punt earlier in the day, I’m the chip leader again. We’re down to about 15 left in the field. UTG opens, I 3b AKo on the button, he jams 20bb, I call. He has 99, a king comes on the flop and he’s gone. It’s day 3 of the main and we’re playing 5 handed with 12 people left. Let’s fucking go.
Button opens to 2.5x, I’m in the BB with A8dd, I flat. Flop comes A104r, I check, he bets, I call. Turn is a 7, x/x. River A, I bet 1.2x pot. He tanks, calls, I show, I’m good.
CO opens to 2.5x, I’m in the BB with 108dd, I flat. Flop comes Kd4x2d, it goes x/x. Turn is a Kx, I check, he bets 60% pot, I flat. River is the 4d. I check, he bets pot. I tank and let it go. He tells me later he checked back a weak king on the flop.
SB completes, I’m in the BB with J9o and I check my option. Flop comes Q108r. The SB donks out into me for 60% pot. I flat. Turn comes a brick and he leads into me for 60% again. I raise to 3.5x his turn bet, he thinks for a while then flats. River is another brick. He bets 80% pot into me. I tank for a while, then shove. He starts laughing and folds QQ face up.
Less than a week ago I was grinding buffet comps at Planet Hollywood. Now I have guys correctly folding top set to me. I’ve made it to the final table. I pick up a few small pots and the two shortstacks at the table get eliminated in quick succession. This is without a doubt the most pointless and just plain out stupid punt of my entire life: I open J2dd on the button into a ~18bb SB and a GTO robot with mid 7 figures in career earnings in the BB. Don’t do this, this is quite literally lighting money on fire. SB folds, BB flats. Flop comes Kh8h3d. I cbet, BB calls. Turn is the Kd, goes x/x. River comes a 7h, he leads into me for half pot. Whatever, I’m going for it – I put in a raise. He thinks for all of 5 seconds then calls me with KQh. Wow, I just punted away $50,000 in ICM. Jesus Christ dude, what the fuck. For the next orbit or two, I’m clearly pissed at myself. I get up after my button and do a lap around the poker room – I’m good. The monkey tilt is gone, and I’m ready to get back to playing normal ranges. Anyway, nothing else really happens for a while – I look down at AKo UTG and raise it up. Folds around to the BB, he thinks for a while, then jams for about 20bb. I snap, he has AQo. I hold. I’m now second in chips. We go on a 10-minute break. When I get back to the table, the prospect of a 5-way chop comes up. We’re all tired – and the pay jumps are very significant. If you couldn’t tell from this story, I’m a degenerate, but in this spot, I’m willing to reduce variance a bit. We run the numbers and come to an agreement – we all agree to take a very slight ICM bump to give 1st place a bit more money than his stack is worth. I just won $129,000 -- huh? This was my second tournament cash – not too bad considering that it was my third tournament ever. Maybe I should start learning how to play MTT’s now. I take $124,000 in a check and $5,000 in cash. I’m leaving Vegas in 4 days and don’t plan on coming home with any of the cash. The winner of the tournament’s a pretty cool guy and he asks if I want to crash in his guest room tonight… like yeah, if that’s a real offer, I’m down. I pick up my toiletry bag from the Venetian concierge and we hit the Uber. The next morning Matt picks me up at his house – I hit the Chase bank and deposit the $124,000. I take Matt and my other friend, Spencer out to the Sterling Brunch over at Bally’s – the entire time, Spencer just kept repeating “Davis, what the fuck”. I don’t know dude, seriously, what the fuck. I get a suite at the D downtown that night and (very) long story short I end up hitting $100 on a number at roulette at 5am. It’s time for bed. Here’s a link to my Hendon Mob, verifying my tournament result. Hopefully I see some of you guys at the WSOP in 2021. https://pokerdb.thehendonmob.com/player.php?a=r&n=783521 Davis
I've seen a lot of this stuff pop up before on this sub but I haven't been able to find a post that contains all of this information together. I'm just kind of bored and wanted to highlight the origins/locations/details of all of the album covers used in the band's discography. As a disclaimer, nearly all of this stuff has been discovered and even posted on this subreddit before, so I'm not taking any credit for most of the stuff here. I would like to give credit where it is due, but given the large number of people and non-redditors that have found the same things, I wouldn't even know where to begin on some of these. I simply dug out as much info as I could find and conglomerated this all into a single post. Also, if I'm incorrect about anything here or if there is anything else that you can add, please comment. That being said, here it is... Death Grips (EP) Album Cover The album cover for Death Grips's original project is actually just a negative image of a distorted looking screenshot from the first few seconds of this music video for Full Moon (Death Classic). Here. It begins with a short video clip of a man speaking while a crow pecks at the dead carcass of what looks to be another crow. Although I've tried looking I cannot find the origins of the video. Exmilitary Album Cover As stated from these posts (1)(2) the cover for the Exmilitary mixtape appears to be a old photograph folded and unfolded into quarters from a book called The Dark Australians by Douglass Baglin and David R. Moore. As u/ebbsey said:
While i feel like i am spoiling the end of a movie...... here goes. The photograph was taken in 1968 at or around what was then know as Oenpelli Mission, today it's called Gunbalanya. The photographer was Douglass Baglin, he published a series of books primarily on Australian heritage throughout the 1970s with a few devoted to Aboriginal themes, his photographs also appeared in other Australian publications used like stock photos. In regards to the identity of the Aboriginal man, Baglin, like many photographers at the time never recorded who he was and simply called him "bearded man at Oenpelli".
The photos: (1)(2) The Money Store Album Cover The Cover is a rendition of a photo taken at the Folsom Street Fair in San Fancisco in 2007 painted by artist Sua Yoo, who is also the girl on the cover of Fashion Week. The entire collection of photos can be found here (Warning: VERY NSFW). According to this Pitchfork article, Death Grips describes the cover as follows: "On the cover you have an androgynous masochist on the leash of a feminist sadist who's smoking. The sadist has carved Death Grips into her bitch's chest. There is an overly confident quality to the woman smoking and a calmness to the androgynous masochist." No Love Deep Web Album Cover (NSFW) As most of you already know, this controversial cover is a photo of Zach Hill's erect penis with the album title written across it in black marker. It was taken in a bathroom at the Chateau Marmont Hotel in Los Angeles, which the band stayed in for an entire two months leading to the leak of the album on their website, which resulted in their dropping from Epic Records. The album cover was met with much controversy, and they were forced to censor the image on their website, YouTube, and SoundCloud, covering the penis with a black bar. On some music platforms, the penis is censored via pixelation instead. Wikipedia says: In an interview with Spin Magazine, Ride responded to the interest by saying, "If you look at that and all you see is a dick, I don't really have anything to say, pretty much. I looked at it and said, 'This is a great photo, and I'd love for this to be the album cover.'" Hill further explained, "It was difficult to do, honestly, in general, it was very difficult. It's difficult even telling people that's the source of it; it feels sacrificial in a sense. That idea existed long before, by the way. This is going to sound funny to other people, but we saw it as tribal, as spiritual, as primal. Also, it comes from a place of being a band that is perceived as...such an aggressive, male-based, by some, misogynistic-seeming band... It's a display of embracing homosexuality, not that either of us are homosexual. Am I making sense? People are still going to think that it's macho, but that's not the source of where it comes from." In a separate interview with Pitchfork, Hill expounded, "It's also a spiritual thing; it's fearlessness...it represents pushing past everything that makes people slaves without even knowing it." There is also an alternate cover featuring Ride wearing mismatched dress shoes with white socks that say "SUCK MY DICK." Government Plates Album Cover This is a really simple cover that features what looks to be a slightly tilted 3D model or photo of a California Exempt (for official vehicles exempt from registration fees) license plate that says "DEATH" over a black background. While this is just speculation on my part, California exempt license plates can only have a maximum of six characters, which could possibly be the reason why the license plate says "DEATH" and not "DEATH GRIPS" like some of their other album covers. As u/mutesirens discovered in this post, when viewed on an iPod Classic, the license plate appears completely flat, which is kind of creepy (in a good way). On Record Store Day 2014, 900 new vinyl copies of Government Plates were released with new artwork showing some of the 3D models from the music videos over the original cover. These records also came with a physical replica of the license plate on the cover. N***as on the Moon Album Cover The cover features a blurry, black and white photo of Ride walking through what is believed to be Sacramento City Cemetery. This Cemetery is located in Ride and Zach's hometown and is right off of Broadway. In the song Up My Sleeves (the first song from this album), Ride mentions a "Broadway Cemetery" multiple times. It also appears to be the same cemetery from Black Google, the I've Seen Footage video, and the infamous moth photo. Although this is nothing but speculation, and most people believe "Jenny Death" refers to Marilyn Monroe, there is also a grave in this cemetery for a "Baby Jenny," who was an African American infant who died of worms in 1853. One user on imgur used this info to try and pinpoint the exact location where the album cover was taken here. Although this is very cool, the mausoleum (tomb building thing) from the google Earth view looks to be in a different spot than the one from the album cover, as there is a road directly in front of it. Using the cemetery's website, I found a plot map and grave directory to use with Google maps to try and find the spot myself. Unfortunately, it is a massive cemetery that is covered in trees, and there were no street view photos of the areas I was trying to look in. The plot map is also from 1975 and appears to be slightly out of date, and there may have been some renovations or plant growth since 2014 when the album released. I found it impossible to find a location that looked similar to the one taken for the album cover. I did however, look through photos that tourists had taken and posted online, and found this photo, which shows a mausoleum eerily similar to the one used on the cover, having the same size, shape, door, immediate surroundings, and even similar shadows. According to the grave directory, it should be located at plot 31, which should be well within viewing distance on plot 19, however I still couldn't see anything well from Google maps. Hopefully a fan in Sacramento can one day visit the cemetery and try and find it and post some better photos. Fashion Week Album Cover The chair is located in the Silver Legacy Resort Casino in Reno, Nevada. It sits on the second floor in the hotel lobby and has evidently changed upholstery color since 2015. The girl is Sua Yoo, who also painted the artwork for The Money Store. Jenny Death Album Cover The glass mural of Marilyn Monroe can be found in the Cheetah's Club on Hollywood Boulevard in Los Angeles. Many people speculate that the name "Jenny Death" comes from Monroe's real name: Norma Jeane Mortenson. Jeane = Jenny, Mortenson = Morte = Death. Many elements of the album also revolve around themes of fame and how destructive it can be, which was perfectly illustrated with the later years of the actress's life. Thanks u/Arthurlurk1 for posting the photos. The Powers That B Album Cover The artwork actually made its first appearance in 2012 in some of the music videos for The Money Store. In the Blackjack music video, the outer rim of the circle appears blackened and sits in the center of the screen rotating while videos play on the inside. In the I've Seen Footage video, it appears in full view at one point and shows up again slightly edited out a few more times, something that was pointed out in this post. It's basically just a blue ground light with some condensation on the inside. Here's someone else's post with a similar one they found. I can't find exactly where this particular light is located, but in the Inanimate Sensation music video, it can be seen from multiple angles next to Zach while he's laying down on a sidewalk next to a tree smoking a cigarette. The scratching on the light that says "Death Grips" is not real. You can tell because of the way that the scratching goes off onto the pavement on the left and because there's no apparent dip around the edges. It looks nearly identical to the scratching on the bitch's chest from the cover of The Money Store. Interview 2016 Album Cover This one's easy. It's just a screen grab of Matthew Hoffman from the Interview 2016 video. You can see it at the 12:10 mark. Bottomless Pit Album Cover The mouth on the cover belongs to Liz Liles Brown, confirmed by her own Instagram post. She is also believed by many to be the voice of "Mexican Girl" from Lord of the Game, but nobody has confirmed nor denied this. It is not confirmed where the cover was taken nor do we know exactly what we're looking at, but Liz did post this photo of herself on Twitter in late 2014, where it looks like she is wearing huge lit-up balloon eye balls where her head is positioned in the middle like on the album cover. Link for both photos. Given Death Grips's history of quietly working with people for years and photographing album covers well before the release date, it could very well be possible that the photo was taken in late 2014. It could also be possible that the Twitter photo was something completely different, and the group instead used large balloons like the ones found at teamLab Planet Tokyo. A video loop version of the album cover appears on YouTube for each of the tracks on Bottomless Pit, showing Liz rapidly flipping her tongue between the big balloon things while saliva drips down her chin. There have been a few theories floating around as to what the album cover means, with some saying that it looks like sexual imagery for cunnilingus, which may be supported by the videos on YouTube. The most supported theory is that the balloons are supposed to represent giant eyeballs like the annoying fan in the Inanimate Sensation music video, which sees Ride with giant googly eyes kind of like the Bottomless Pit cover. The photo of Liz in 2014 also definitely looks like giant eyeballs since they have black circles on the balloons. The lyrics for the title track Bottomless Pit mention "Gagballs drooling pools," which could explain the saliva and tongue flipping from the YouTube videos as well. My guess is that the album is supposed to be about rabid fans personified by a drooling creature, who were given "Bad Ideas" from the band and are falling down a "bottomless pit," making their eyes pop out of their head, eternally getting "fucked in half" by new content from the band. Steroids (Crouching Tiger Hidden Gabber Megamix) Album Cover The dragon mural can be found hanging on the wall at Simon's Bar & Cafe in Sacramento. The glowing red eyes are actually real and weren't edited in. In the music video. the dragon is shown flashing different colors rapidly In 2019, the EP was printed on vinyl and shipped with a slightly altered cover that included a white border, the band name, and a parental advisory badge. The vinyl release also included the songs More Than the Fairy and Electronic Drum Solo, using the artwork for the former on the back cover. Year of the Snitch Album Cover If you look closely at the cover, you can figure out that it's a (plastic?) patio table, with someone (probably Zach) sticking their lips and tongue out through the umbrella hole in the center of the table. The mouth was then copied and pasted to other areas of the table at various rotations and sizes, while another shot of the mouth wide open was enlarged and pasted on the table by itself. The hand of the person under the table is gripping the edge of the table for balance on the top left, and you can see part of a patio chair on the top right. You can a closeup of the mouth moving at the 0:33 mark in the Year of the Snitch tracklist video. The location of the patio table is unknown. The album and accompanying media that was released on YouTube features a lot of themes about snitching (obviously) as well as cults. The one large open mouth may represent a cult leader speaking while the other tongue-out mouths could be followers. Maybe the tongue-out mouths represent members of a group/cult while the large open mouth is snitch talking. Or I may just be interpreting it all wrong. Let me know if I missed anything!
Leader in the American casino sector: massive brand merger
A major US casino operator absorbed a competitor and became the largest corporation in the US land-based gambling market. According to Interfax, the American company, which owns the hotel and casino chain Eldorado Resorts, took a 56% stake in rival Cesars Entertainment. were not withdrawn from the circulation of the American stock exchange, and the corporation said that they continue to develop an individual product. Eldorado is now the owner of 55 large-scale operating facilities in the United States, Great Britain and the UAE. Analysts report that the company has bypassed another global corporation in the field of hotel and gambling business - MGM Resorts International. During the pandemic, most of the gambling and hotel business facilities stopped, some did not resume work after the restrictions were lifted. Eldorado Resorts also noted a 37% drop in capitalization amid the forced downtime and the world crisis. www.aussiecasino24.com
Weekly posts are baaaack! This is the catch-up post to bring us into February and you can look for posts on Sunday nights for the upcoming week. If you liked the monthly list, the link to it is in the Other Things to Do Links at the bottom of this list. As always, please share events I missed in the comments of this thread.
Part 1 Part 7 (access to parts 1-6 in this link) So it is 2014. I have had a miserable three years to say the least. Very little poker over the last two. Its late spring or early summer 2014. I am working at a warehouse driving a forklift and doing some small shipments stuff for $10.75 an hour (rural Oklahoma). I am broke always. That money is barely enough to live on. Its a shit job working with idiots. Theres an older lady who reads magazines that tell her that some celebrity on Big Bang Theory is the FIFTH! smartest person in the WORLLLLLD. Yet she fails to understand my argument that it is literally impossible and utterly retarded to even try and make such a precise statement. Have no fears though there were other celebs that were supposed to be some of the smartest people alive. There were some guys who had the creativity of a dish cloth. Guys you know would never do anything but work a job and sleep. Just drones. Lots and lots of drones. NPCs I guess works here. The lower class working world have either been brow beaten into submission by life or dont have the intelligence to see how awful it is (or perhaps lack the intelligence to find a way out) I have more desire to live like tribal people in the Amazon than to work a bad job the rest of my life, at least the tribal man is free to act on his own intuition and instinct on his own schedule. I am and will always be a risk taker. Though I am much less of one now than I used to be. It was suffocating being around so many people who just do enough at work to scrape by. Knowing their next 40 years will entail this. They had no interesting stories to tell and were just depressing in general. I felt bad for them honestly. I work hard at work. I had zero desire to do this for my whole life but I worked hard hoping for promotion assuming I was going to be there a while. This job was through a temp service and I was as far as I know the only one offered a full time job (most were gone after 30-45 days). This happened as I quit though. Pay was still shit but I was going to get insurance for the first time in my life (33, never had insurance, havent been to a doctor since I was like 12 or 13. Knock on wood) (never get a flu shot, I havent had the flu since I was a kid and got the shots, you do you though) So I am going to bed one night and a long time friend through live poker calls me and asks me what I am doing. I havent talked to him in a year or so (since dealing in St. Louis, he was the friend who got me that job) Nothing I tell him. He says he is going to be driving through in the AM and wants to talk to me because he has something for me. I say ok I tell him what time I go to work and he says thats about perfect, he is driving from Texas to St. Louis and would be crossing my path around then. Morning comes and I meet him at a gas station off the highway and he just gives me 2500$. No questions asked. I can pay him when I have it or if never, dont sweat it. I havent played any poker in a while. Aside from the trip I dealt and one other isolated weekend I have played no live cash since 2011. I had played a couple MTTs (and scored a bit in one as in last post) but thats it. He had been on a bit of a tear about then. Had a string of top 3s in a midwestern circuit. Just felt bad that I hadnt been playing. Its the single nicest gesture anyone aside from my parents has ever done for me. I cant explain what it meant that he randomly thought of me and sought me out to do this. It was a rare bright moment during that time. I dont remember exactly what I told him when he gave it to me but I thanked him repeatedly and he said “you would have done it for me”. Which is true, under certain situations. I am all for helping those who are working to help themselves, I assume had I been strung out still he would have not offered knowing it would buy drugs. What I will add about this guy. Ive known him since 07. I was always the online killer, I came to live games to drink and fuck around. He was a live player, struggled a lot back then (live pokers a bitch when youre not crazy disciplined) with the pit. As long as I have known him I have never seen him do anyone wrong to anyone. He got himself in precarious situations in debt, but always made good. Probably the nicest guy I have ever met through poker (that plays for a living). It doesnt matter how long I go without seeing him he always shoots a message eventually to see how things are going and we usually have a phone call every 6~ months when one of us is on a long drive. In fact I hadnt talked to him in a month or so and he randomly texted me as I was writing this, he has had a bad week in a split up so I sent him this section in hopes it made him feel a bit better. Ok now I can trash him for one story. Its 2010~. Were in St. Louis or KC I forget. We played a WSOP stop. Its Sunday were going home. He had a bad trip. Walking out to my truck I stick my hand in my pocket and find a 1k chip I forgot to cash in. Send him in and I will go get my truck and pick him up up front. I sit up front a good 10+ minutes (so with the walk to get my truck its 15+ hes been inside cashing this chip out). He comes back out and has no 1000$ for me. He just laughs and says I walked by an empty BJ table. Claims he lost it in one hand, but it did take a while. Never pressed him further but I probably should see if he recalls how that went down. Wouldnt shock me if he had doubled or tripled and got greedy haha. The pit was his leak. He gave me the 1000$ back not long after anyways and it was a good laugh (for me, he felt bad) on the drive home. I finish out the work week with this 2500$ in my pocket (literally in my pocket at all times). Ive stayed off of actual opiates for about a year now so it wasnt burning via an addiction. I am strictly on methadone from this point forward. Only took five years to scrap that habit. Friday rolls around and I go to play. It goes well. Saturday goes well. I resume work the next week. I have like 4500$ now in my pocket. Its actually in my pocket at all times still. For some reason it gives me a bit of motivation. It pleases me to have it after being broke for a while. Next weekend rolls around. It goes well again. I have 5-6k after that weekend. Just playing 2-5nl iirc. Still it remains in my pocket, I touch it while walking around at work, it gives excitement looking forward to the next time I put it in play. A few more weeks of working and I am still rebuilding. Finally I have 10k or so. I dont remember exactly when I paid him the 2500$ back, but I feel like it was rather quickly. Eventually I rent a small apartment near the casino and am playing again. Not exactly rolled very well. I have a huuuuuuuge leak that is preventing me from getting rolled. I am complacent as soon as I have 10-15k in my pocket. It allows me to sleep easier at night knowing I have money for life expenses. Stress melts away. I have absolutely lost my grit, my fire, my ambition, my ruthlessness. Even at the tables I am a shell of what I once was in the sense of intuition and instinct. I am a passive reg when I used to be the killer. I run up 15k rolls playing 2-5nl and some 1-2 and I am content, I get up a few buy ins in a session and I shell up and play very passive taking low variance lines. So when I am fairly flush I barely play for a month or two. Get down to 5-6k left in my pocket and I am playing again (obviously praying for friendly variance, I am clearly under rolled). My collapse in 2011 was like a castration in poker. I am like a neutered dog, I still wake up and go to my dog bowl when hungry (the casino is the dog bowl), I still function but I am just not at the same energy level I once was. I fucking hate writing that, I have gotten better about logging hours as time has gone by but I am just not as hungry as I once was. I remember back in 05-2010 the desire to have more money. The desire to build upon what I have done. Its gone though it seems and I cant restart it. Ive left out a lot of drug related stories. All the running and hustling to keep my addiction fed. All the withdrawals when I couldn’t feed it. The quitting methadone for pills a few times. I was only a year into the not chasing part, just staying on methadone (which makes you tired) and I was just now not working a shit job. Being able to lay in bed not stressing things, not worrying about things was just nice. Im still depressed overall, though it washes away when I have 15k to my name its still in the back of my mind what I squandered. Simply put I did not cope well with the situation. I still felt sorry for myself. I am not even the same person I was pre opiates. I have a shred of the confidence. Which is understandable in the poker scene. Its humbling to lose it all. This continues for a couple years. I get myself into a couple binds clearly as I am allowing myself to drain off my money then playing games I have 10-15 buy ins for and of course it doesnt go great always. I have a plo game on Fridays for a while, and its unreal soft. Im pretty sure I went a year with less than 5 losses in that game. Its passive soft though, players dont bet their hands and pay me when I bet mine. I can cbet two pairs OOP and get flatted by wraps and flushdraws that brick and never bet, stuff like that. I still never build a roll over 25k at any point. I am literally playing on Friday only most weeks. My hourly was good but I didnt put many hours in. I play a few local tournaments (hpt/rungood/wpt) and never break through. Final tabled an HPT to get 7th or something. Final two tables in a hand full of others. I remember hands, I guess I will share a couple that ousted me late in a couple of these. 15~ left in a 700$ that pays 60k up top I am in bb with TT and a 30bb stack (healthy) a TAG older guy opens early 3x and I flat out of bb, he covers me. T97r I check he bets I raise he rips I call he has JJ and binks an 8 and board runs clean. In another 700$ buy in that pays 50k up top with 13~ left I open QQ 2x in mid with 20bb stack and well known (In our area) MAWG spaz who runs puuuure in MTTs (hes aggro too which is a lot of it, you make youre own luck, he also plays every single MTT in the area and rebuys relentlessly trying to build a stack) in sb rips A7cc on me. Spikes Ace gg. Fun hand histories huh!!?!!?!! I feel lame having shared such standard nonsense. You have to win a few flips to break out of the last two tables though. Prob would make a difference if I had played more than 20~ of these over those years but I dont travel and I hate tourneys. Tourneys are not a waste of time when local but traveling playing smallish to mid buy ins (300-1k) is just unsustainable even with the fields being so soft. Just imagine how great cash games would be if there were no tournaments. Mmmmm. (Yes I know tournaments made poker what it is, just let me dream). I am not sure if anyone has ever posted a ton of volume in each live buy in and shared hourly but I would wager my hourly in 1-3nl would out do any 300-700$ buy in mtt hourly over considerable volume. If you add travel hotels etc its not even a debate which is better. Tournament pay scales have just flattened out so much over the years to the point it knocks profit off good players. Hell, just pay 5% of the field and give 1st half, they will fucking chop it anyways and itll be wise for chip leaders in these small buy ins where avg stack is 10bb. So I am a lazy sack of shit after getting the ability to relax. Thats what happened here. I cant break out of it, I dont want to it seemed. I am more than content staying alive as long as I wasnt stressing about tomorrow. It is the running theme for 2-3 years at this point. This one is short, I think I have two more after this one, maybe three. 2017 is where I will pick up on the next one.
JP Summer 2019 Story according to someone who can't read! Casino Pharaoh IN COLOR
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Disclaimer The following is an interpretation from someone who cannot fully read Japanese and is merely made to highlight the comedy used in the story. It is in no way an indication of the style of writing used in the event. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This Chapter in a nutshellSPOILER As per usual we open up with some philosophical monologue, although it is pretty blatant on who is going to be the star of this chapter. Meanwhile at the hotel, we await for Kotarou to return with intel on the next Swimsuit Swordmaster. While we wait, I'mma be real with you guys, this chapter is pretty dry compared to the last one, not too many gags and jokes I can throw in... Anyhow, Best Boi returns with the intel, however he tells us that this is going to be a difficult fight compared to the last and doesn't go into specifics and says that it would be faster if we saw it ourselves. We arrive at the Casino, the PHARAOH CASINO. I don't know about you guys but I feel like, slot machines and Egypt have a really strong connections... We're pretty sure on who is going to show up with this theme... Sure this Casino has a lot of oomph to it but nothing stands out as an obstacle from what we can see, so without further ado we march in with much gusto! We are then greeted with a Medjed, it kinda looks like Nitocris but it is missing the bunny ears so we conclude that it's probably not her. The Medjed greeter informs us that this Casino is not for the entertainment of us plebs but it was built by pharaohs for pharaohs to do pharaoh stuff... but it is still a business so people of celebrity status are granted access. For reference Mashu asks the greeter the minimal amount you need to gamble in this place, I mean it can't be that much right? 1 Billion QP (in numerical terms, 1,000,000,000QP) Literally my reaction as I was reading this. Your reaction Man, fuck this casino, I'm gonna go build my own casino, with blackjack and hookers! Unfortunately that too would take a lot of money, so, Hokusai says, fuck that, we're going in anyways, which is the perfect way get security called on you. We promptly get surrounded by Sphinx Security and more Medjed pricks. [Battle Ensures] We resist arrest Even if we were to escape its not like we could just miraculously find 1 BILLION QP and enter anyways. Enter Aqua MKIIIshtar. It seems like she's a regular at this casino because pharaohs are godlike so for a goddess like herself it makes sense. She finds our group amusing and tells the Medjed greeter to let us in and they can use her money. Mashu thanks her, letting us in for free and all... It's free, right? RIIIIIIGHT?! We enter the casino and MY GOD this is in bad taste... The Medjed-sama is strong with this place And outta no where Fou gets buried in a bunch of flower petals! Merlin makes his appearance and does a huge info-dump on us, all while fou is trying to escape from the flowers... Basically, all the Medjeds are workers cosplaying and that there's a fuck-ton of secret cameras which they use to cheat you out of your money (experienced first-hand and removed off premise). Looks like security has gotten wind of Merlin's presence and he makes a swift exit. We explore the place and find that they are offering the quest item thing as one of the exchange prizes, and selfies with Medjed. Kotarou: No, for the love of god, don't take the selfie! But obviously either prizes cost an arm and a leg which Kotarou quickly offers his own body, I know we're desperate but we're not desperate enough to sacrifice best boi. Cleopatra and Scheherazade appear and introduces themselves as the owner of the Establishment and head of security, respectively. Also Scheherazade asks us to not take any claims against them because she would probably die of stress. Mashu comments on how nice it is to have someone who doesn't have an anger management issue, running the place but Hokusai takes this opportunity to try and hustle the quest item. Just as things were about to get violent, the Swordmaster of the Casino descends, it's Nitocris, but she seems different from her regular self. Basically, Nitocris is overloaded with Medjed's power which is causing her to OP af and doesn't really recognize anyone and will defend the peace of the casino. [Battle Ensures] And thank god you didn't have to win, cause I just went in with my farming team... Nitocris gives us a fresh can of Ass Whooping and we decide to retreat only get surrounded by security at the entrance. As the servants were discussing on taking drastic measures for our safety... Enter, Vermouth from Detective ConanCarmilla! And she tells us to, get in da chopper, which is cool and all, but it's one of those two-seater sport cars... Musashi tells us that she should be fine on her own, while regretting not asking DW for one of those in her noble phantasm. Siegfried tells us the same, that he should be able to escape on his own while giving us a smug look, those fucking glasses... Well, that takes care of two. Kotarou says he is okay with riding the top of the car and looks like the rest of us just has to make do... After an enjoyable ride, we make it back to the hotel and thank Carmilla for the free ride. It was free right? Well, she tells us she had business with that casino so it wasn't that big of a deal. Mashu questions Carmilla, what's with the outfit, which is obviously a swimsuit. Goddam, that's hot. Seems like Carmilla is pleasantly surprised that she, rather than Eli, got the outfit. I mean, Eli has like, 5 versions... not like I'm complaining, love me some Okubo Rumi. Time to get the plot back on track, Ishtar bursts through the door asking if we're back yet, to which we thank her for that free pass into the casino, which obviously wasn't free... NOTHING IS EVER FREE! Kotarou: DEMON! RED DEVILISH GOOD FOR NOTHING GODDESS! Damn, you tell 'em Kotarou! Anyhow Ishtar says that she's willing to let it slide for a favor, she wants a certain jewel that they have kept in the casino and she's been scoping out the place to try and find it. Turns out Carmilla also knows of the jewel and when questioned on who she is by Ishtar, she introduces herself with a calling card, right into the floor... hope this doesn't piss off the hotel staff. Turns out Carmilla is not just a swimsuit servant, but she is also, Kaito KidThe Phantom Theif Mistress C. Anyways, long story short, since Carmilla doesn't want the jewel but her objective still aligns with Ishtar's, they form a partnership, Ishtar will be providing the funding and Carmilla with us as sidekicks will steal the 'Eye of Medjed'. Us: Fuck, we need money! Also us: Stealing is bad mmmmkay? Well, as it turns out, the jewel was originally Ishtar's but she lent it to her cousin or something and they lost it. Therefore it is okay to steal it back... Also Ishtar has the quest item and is willing to give it to us as payment. Works for me. Oh look Siegfried, perfect timing, we're gonna need all the help we can get for this heist! Wait, Ishtar where are you take Sumanai and best boi? You need mana? Isn't that what the master is for? And off they go, welp, we're down to 4 people. Luckily Carmilla has a few Celebrities in mind that she wants part of the team. She throws a card at us with instructions on them... Why didn't you just verbally tell us, who is RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU! Honestly, I think she just made waaaay too many cards and she's just trying to get the most value out of them. We then find our first victim celebrity, Gucchan-senpai, who is oh so pleased to see us. Celebrity? No wait, she walks like she's on the red carpet. Carmilla throws a card at Gucchan with some blackmail on it. Turns out Gucchan and her four-legged husbando lost a large amount of money at the casino and is in debt. Gucchan is unfazed and looks like we're gonna need to be a bit more persuasive. [Battle Ensures] After riling her up, Carmilla redirects Gucchan's anger at the casino and she agrees to help us out. We have Gucchan standby at the hotel while we hunt down our next celebrity. We then confronted Shishou who is wondering around after losing her money at the casino hoping to find someone to pick a fight with... No violence pls~ She readies her weapons and Hokusai obliges... [Battle ensures] After a quick bout, we leave Shishou at the hotel who is sizing up Gucchan-senpai, promising Shishou that we will find her a grand battle if she cooperates with us. We then head upstairs to find the last celebrity for our team, it turns out to be Okki. Surprised at how well Okki is doing, considering that she spend a day in Kiyo's bell, Carmilla throws a card at Okki telling her to join our heist. Impressed at how cool Carmilla is, she joins us. Looks like we won't need to persuade her, but she does want to warm up so we end up battling anyways... [Battle ensures] With our team completed there's just one more thing. Carmilla throws a card at us tell us to pick up the 'package' from one of the rooms. While we do that Carmilla goes off to finish the last of the preparations. We knock the secret code onto the door to be greeted by Vlad. He gives off a menacing vibe and asks us what we're here for? We tell him we're for the drugs! Which he replies with a confused face. Turns out it wasn't drugs. We correct ourselves and ask for the package, he gives us a ball, before we take our leave he gives us an earful about how annoying it is to get a last minute job to which we will pass on to Carmilla. The time has come, Carmilla explains the plan and our roles. Meanwhile at Casino Pharaoh, they receive a calling card stating the 'Eye of Medjed' will soon be in the possession of Mistress C. This pisses Nitocris Medjed off, Cleopatra asks if they should take precautionary measures against the thief, to which Medjed tells them that it's not necessary as they should be able to drive off any foolish thieves. Mission Start! Phase 1: Infiltration This should be the easiest part of the plan since most members are of high status and that swimsuits is an indication of ones fame. Here we have a display of cheap writing... Literally 3 mobs expressing how beautiful, rich looking and CELEBRITY-LIKE Carmilla, Gucchan and Shishou is. Even the Medjed greeter is stunned at how Carmilla looks and lets all of us in. He remarks how the others look pretty normal. Hope we get to beat this guy later... Nobody smack talks our kouhai and gets away with it! Phase 2: Taking out security As it turns out all of the Medjed staff are from Scheherazade's noble phantasm, so if we can knock her out all of the staff should disappear. We have Gucchan find Scheherazade and cause a distraction, a distraction that only Gucchan can pull off... Scheherazade: Is something the matter? Yu Miaoyi: I don't feel so good... Scheherazade: Oh no, is your body okay?! Quick, before you die, head to the medical bay! Yu Miaoyi: aaa, I don't feel good. I really don't feel good... Yu Miaoyi: HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE ME SAY THESE LINES?! Carmilla: Hey, follow the script! Yu Miaoyi: Fuck it, let's just do it. Yu Miaoyi: Eternal Lament, The Cursed-Blooded Immortal's Song of Grief! EXPLODES INTO A BLOODY MESS Scheherazade: OH GOD YOU'RE DYING?! NO, YOUR DEAD ALREADY?! Scheherazade: To think one could die like this... Scheherazade: How does one even protect one's self from such a death... Aaa! I'm scared... (Shivers in fear) Carmilla: Quick, while she's quacking in her boots, GET HER! [Battle Ensures] This is why Scheherazade starts the battle with 1 HP.... We knock out Scheherazade and all the Medjeds dissipates. Phase 2 part 2: Takeover In order to search areas plastered with secret cameras we use have to use the item given to us from Vlad. The ball turns out to be a pocket-dimension and inside it is an infinite amount of Medjed sheets. Poor Vlad, no wonder he was in a bad mood, forced to make an infinite amount of sheets... We all put on the sheets to avoid arousing suspicion from the cameras... although I feel like Gucchan blowing up already blew our cover, but sure... Mashedjed: Senpai, it looks good on you! Damn right it does. Now Okki uses her Noble Phantasm to summon an army of origami troops, the troops all put on a sheet and disperse. Now this was pretty cleaver I have to admit. Phase 2 Part 3: Cleopatra Looks like the reason why we brought Shishou along was to distract Cleopatra. While the Medjed imitations might fool the cameras, it probably won't be able to fool Cleopatra. Shishou Challenges Cleopatra to a duel! Scathach: As a celebrity, I challenge you to a gamble! Cleopatra: Ho... To think the Queen of the Land of Shadows would challenge me. What kind of gamble? Scathach: It should be obvious. A gamble for celebrities such as ourselves. Scathach: In other words.... Scathach: WHO IS STRONGER?! GAME! So... the usual, sure. Wouldn't have expected less from Shishou. Cleopatra points out that it's not really a gamble, more of a test of skill... Scathach also aware of this and decides to challenge Cleopatra in a bet of Beauty. Cleopatra is taken aback and Scathach explains that she will easily win in a battle of strength so it would be more interesting to beat Cleopatra in a field that she specializes in. The onlookers start betting on the two servants, then the queen of Sheba, outta no where, hops on the bandwagon and brokers the bets. Cleopatra no taking the bait, sussing that Scathach is planning something, Scathach asks Cleopatra if she was, Okay with not showing off? Hinting that Caesar was around, which throws Cleopatra into a frenzy trying to find Caesar in the crowd. Finally accepting the challenge the two start battling. I'm fairly certain Pretty boy isn't around since he does stand out from the crowd... Meanwhile the rest of us enter the treasure room and remove the disguise... I think someone played a bit too much Persona... We find the 'Eye of Medjed' at the end of the room. Indicated by that white dot there, truly a magnificent sight to behold! Hokusai, about to start dashing to the jewel is stopped by Carmilla tell her that it's a trap and throws one of her cards to demonstrate. Stumped by the unexpected level of security here, Musashi appears outta no where! She claims that, after escaping she took the opportunity to sneak back in when she noticed our shenanigans and followed us into the treasure room... I'm calling it now, Musashi is the final boss. Anyhow, Musashi decides to egg on Hokusai saying, this level of obstacle shouldn't be an issue to a REAL Swordmaster. Hokusai, taking the bait, draws all of her swords and runs through the traps, deflecting all the lasers like a FUCKING JEDI. We make it to the jewel when, Ishtar shows up... on her bike... I assume she just drove straight through the wall, we give her the 'Eye of Medjed' in exchange for the quest item and she fucks off. No one questions how she got in here ON HER BIKE, but whatever, Carmilla also takes her leave since they've gotten the jewel and our crew heads off to confront Nitocris. We head on outside to find a super pissed off Medjed-sama, I'm guessing Ishtar was waving the 'Eye of Medjed' as she was leaving the premise or something, fucken Ishtar... Medjed then summons elephant force 5000, Tsar Ivan, Darius the third and Ganesha. Meanwhile Carmilla is overseeing our battle while sipping on some cocktail and to be honest I'm not even gonna try to translate this scene, all I can tell is, Vlad gives Carmilla a pep-talk and makes Carmilla reflect on why she is a thief. She shoves a cocktail in Vlads mouth and tells him that she still has stuff to steal and takes her leave. Back to the action, we were about to get overrun by the elephant charge when we hear a familiar car engine. Carmilla has made it in the nick of time to save our asses and runs over Ivan. Mashu asks why she came back and she says there's still something she wanted to steal and looks at you. [SHOWDOWN ENSURES] God I love Merlin's voice, it so goddam sexy. When you beat Nitocris she returns to her senses and has no recollection of anything that just took place. Scheherazade and Cleopatra greet the awaken Nitocris, it seems like Cleopatra was too distracted playing Find CaesarTM and lost the fight and they catch Nitocris up on what has happened. Again, some nice emotional pep-talks happen between Nitocris and Cleopatra, basically, Cleopatra tried to do something Pharaoh-like only for it to fail then Nitocris reprimands her telling Cleopatra is a fine Pharaoh as she is sure that is what Ozy would say and they hug it out. Back at that rooftop bar, Vlad is joined by Ozy and they over watch their kin grow and develop. Back at the hotel, Carmilla tells us that she'll be hanging with us and expects us to help her with her endeavors, while looking at you. Mashu, not liking Carmilla's insinuation says, while she doesn't know what exactly Carmilla wants, she will protect her senpai. Clearly, best kouhai. Meanwhile, Kotarou is just worried that Phantom Thief Carmilla's role kinda overlaps with his role and hopes we will continue relying on him. Siegfried is sumanai about not being there for us and the chapter ends with Hokusai and Musashi being in high spirits. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Oh boy, what a chapter, it wasn't as funny as the first one imo, probably cause nothing beats two thirsty pirates going after our booty! Anyhow like I said, not that many funny interactions that I felt like doing word-for-word translations. I might go fix up my first post if I'm not too busy grind QP, god I need so much QP... Again, if I missed any jokes let me know and happy farming! Until next chapter!
PART ONE OF FIVE So, you wanna go to SHOT show? You think it's all fun and games? Get to play with guns? See Jesse James and James Yeager? SHOT show is the annual pilgrimage of the unwashed masses to Las Vegas to rub elbows with youtube celebrities, bloggers and overseas businessmen copying US made equipment and share infectious disease. If you love guns, gambling and gonorrhea - SHOT show is for you! It is not my typical idea of a good time. I am not a big fan of Las Vegas. However: I do attend for a few reasons. First, I do enjoy travel and I'm gold on UA so I can usually score an upgrade. Second, industry people are in there that I do hundreds of thousands if not millions of dollars with business with so it's nice to put a face with the name and see what deals are out there. SHOT for me has been a bust for the past few years. Being a value guy, I want to buy at $1000 and sell at $3000 and as of recently the gun business is more like buy for $1 and sell for $1.10 if you get what I mean. We used to do business at SHOT and now it's just checking in on foursquare, instagram and rubbing elbows with bloggers and the like. I want to make money, not spend money so this is very annoying to me. Anyways, onto the play by play. Saturday, January 19th. Three days before SHOT show. I talk a friend of mine to drive me to the airport after I drop my F350 at the body shop. I had a hit and run and someone totally fucked up all my paint and clearcoat. My guy says he can get it done while I'm gone for SHOT so I hitch a ride with a friend and pick up the tab for lunch. We have brisket. It is delicious. I get to the airport 3 hours early for my flight just in case the TSA line is a shitshow thanks to, well TSA. The government shutdown is not helping these folks. I have pre check and much to my surprise I breeze right through after a brief 3 minute wait. I slog my way to the lounge, as shitty as it is to wait for my winged chariot to IAH. I have gone from being in an abusive relationship with AA to being in an abusive relationship with UA. Although if you really want to experience the battered spouse feeling, NK is a few gates over. I board my flight to IAH and my Renton assembled chariot is on time and boarding early. The hate agent scans my pass and the alarms go off and spits off a new boarding pass. I have been upgraded to first class. You all will be turning right, I will be turning left once I pass the threshold of 2L on this old 757. I'll take a cleared upgrade at the gate any day of the week considering that I am 29/53 for Bush to LAX. Fuck my life. I gate check my bags to make life easier for me and the rest of the folks riding with me. If I don't have to worry about being short on time at my destination, I like to gate check to free up bins for those who are not as fortunate. Eventually I board and ask the FA to say hi to the captain and get a ride report. She says no problem. I step down into the 757 flight deck and take some selfies with the crew. They appreciate my aviation nerdery. They tell me that there will be light chop all over texas today and we're going to have some bumps so strap in and don't be a hero. Having brightened the day of the flight crew, I head back to my lie flat window seat, fully recline and kick back and relax by listening to channel 9 on the IFE. It's disabled. Fuck. I put on a movie and watch the delightful Tag with the always excellent Jon Hamm, Ed Helms and others. It's a good movie and made me laugh. Just as we get to the gate the credits roll. We land at Bush right on time but I have a 59 minute spa layover I had planned OR I can go to Landrys with my priory pass and get some blackened snapper. Do I hightail it to the Centurion lounge in terminal D, my home away from home? Or go for fresh grilled seafood? This centurion lounge does not have a spa. Fuck it, lets go cajun. I walk over to Landrys and order the blackened snapper. It is delicious. The kitchen is a little behind so they box it up the rest of it for me to take on the plane which they don't have to do and I leave the waitress a nice tip. I am sweating from the blackened seasoning. I don't care. NOM NOM NOM. Fish is delish. They have already started boarding to LAX as I walk up to the gate. I ask the hate agent if there's any upgrades. She says first is checked in full and we are 100% packed to LAX today. I thank her and board my bulkhead seat to LAX with my blackened snapper in one hand and personal item in the other. Giving the FA a friendly nod, I ask to say hi to the captain and she says no way boss, we're busy - sit down and shut up. Rude. The boarding door closes for an on time departure and I watch another classic - Wall Street! I polish off the blackened snapper, dirty rice and green beans. Charlie Sheen before he went crazy was a pretty good actor. He's so dreamy. I'm sweating profusely from the blackened seasoning and get up to throw away my trash because I didn't want the other guys in coach to have to do it for me. I walk right up to the forward galley into Bitchy McBitchface who woke up on the wrong side of life starts telling me to use the coach lavatory. I tell her I just wanted to throw some trash away and she gave me more attitude than a sassy black woman working at the DMV. Listen lady, if you don't wanna be dealing with trash - maybe you shouldn't be working for United, eh? I take my seat and I fall asleep on the way to LA. The ride is smoother than my nephew's 16 month old ass. The flight was not long enough. The landing is a perfect grease job on 24R and the only thing awakening me from my slumber is the reversers on the 737 Max. I pull my headset out so I can tune in LAX ground on LiveATC just as we make the left for taxiway Alpha/Alpha. I see the taxiway signs out of the corner of my window and start the feed just as I hear the ding. ding What I'm expecting: Welcome to Los Angeles where the local time is 5:55. Your Houston based flight crew would like to thank you for flying United and your baggage will be at carousel (integer) What I heard from a clearly panic stricken FA: IF THERE IS A DOCTOR OR ANYONE WITH MEDICAL TRAINING ON BOARD PLEASE RING YOUR CALL BUTTON. Everyone wants to be a hero until it's time to do hero shit. I reach up and press the button and a single chime tells the FA that row 9 pressed button. ding FA: If you are a doctor or have medical training please head to the rear galley immediately. I dumped my phone in my seat. (This was my first mistake. I'll tell you why later.) Shit. It's go time. The passengers next to me are soundly asleep and it's a full flight, so I unbuckle my belt and turnstile jump over the two of them making a resounding thud onto the cabin floor. I promptly walked with a purpose to the rear cabin. As I'm heading back I hear someone else walking behind me but I'm focused on the long walk from the bulkhead to the rear galley. I arrive shortly and my immediate impression is that the rear galley is not in good shape. Oh, the bitchface FA that told me off? She's now profusely thanking me for showing up. Funny how that works isn't it? There's a woman lying across three jumpseats on oxygen screaming in pain with a clearly experienced physician working on her and checking her out. I am not about to get in his way. Right behind me is a six foot three beast of a man who I can only imagine used to play right wing for Detroit. Doc 1 is working her, there's me and Doc 2 is behind me. Doc 1 tells us she's got shortness of breath and chest pains. Doc 2 nods and says he's a trauma surgeon from Cedars Sinai. Doc 1 tells us he's an internal medicine specialist at UCLA. Doc 2 asks me what my specialty is. FC says structural firefighting and making sure you two get everything you need. Doc 2 looks at the FA and asks if they got an AED on board. I look up at the nearest overhead and there's an AED in the compartment, I bust it out and hand it to him. They start sizing her up as we taxi down Alpha/Alpha. I stand in the aisle inbetween the two bathroom doors as they do their thing ready to help out. (FC breaks the fourth wall) FOR THE UNINITIATED: United is in terminals 7/8 on the south side of LAX. When you land next to In-and-Out Burger on Sepuldeva you're on the north side of the field. It's easily a 20 minute ride to get from one side of the airport to another when they're busy. Prime time for LAX is 1800hrs because you have all the morning flights from the east and the afternoon flights from the central time zone arriving. When you have a medical emergency and time is a factor, a 20 minute ride to the gate is what we call sub optimal. There's hard stand/remote gates at LAX on the northwest side of the field surface street adjacent that you can get to a lot faster than a long haul around the airport. If you give me a choice of going to the hard stand and meeting the ambulance or taking a 15-20 minute taxi during rush hour to a UA staffed ramp - I will GLADLY take to the hard stand, shut down and start em up. Yes, it's going to inconvenience a plane full of people for 20 minutes for you to unload, restart and taxi back. No, I give zero fucks. My mistake was leaving my phone behind. Had I had it with me, I would have known we were going long way around and applied some intervention techniques to get things moving faster. I had no idea where we were. (Cut to present) Doc 1 managed the best he could and the lady said inbetween raspy breaths that she was going to start vomiting from the pain. Doc calls for a bag. The FA takes the safety equipment bag, the one holding the lifevest, seatbelt extender and oxygen mask and empties it. OH FOR FUCKS SAKE. I reach over to the nearest passenger, pull all the contents of the seatback out, dump it on the floor and hand doc 1 a United brand official airsick bag. Just as I do this and I step back, the plane rapidly slows down and begins to turn. (FC breaks the fourth wall again) I used the term suboptimal earlier, and this is going to be a theme for the rest of the trip. Boeing in their infinite wisdom decided to stretch a 737 design and call it the MAX instead of doing a clean sheet. Three FA's, two doctors, me, and our lady experiencing chest pains are in the rear galley all not wearing seatbelts. All but the patient are standing. We are something like 80 feet behind the main landing gear. Inertia is not our friend today. I start falling and I grab the only thing I can on the way down: the door handle to the lavatory. (Cut to present) Next thing I know, I've experienced what the FAA would probably term a "Lavatory Incursion" - and I wonder where my life has gone wrong as my knee has hit the toilet bowl. I get back up and prop a hand up on the cabin ceiling just to steady myself for the rest of the ride to the gate. I look towards the front of the plane and notice something. Some fuckwit in row 29 is livestreaming this on instagram or some crap. Are you fucking shitting me? I lean over to the purser and tell her that while Doc 1 and 2 are fixing her, I'm gonna go do some fixing of my own about 10 rows up. My resting bitch face is on point right now as I walk up to the tactless millennial inconsiderate smartphone user and get ready to fix this problem in a way honed by years of catholic school, brute force and dealing with shithead customers. FC: Just what do you think you're doing? 1: I'm livestreaming this on twitter. It's my right. FC: You're gonna delete whatever you filmed right now. 1: Or what are you gonna do about it? FC: You see that FA over there? The one that looks like she's not taking any shit from anybody today? I'm gonna ask her for the intercom, I'm gonna call the captain and my friends over at the LAPD are gonna haul your ass in front of a judge and the next place you're gonna be livestreaming from is the back of a police car. And let me tell you something you might not know. There's two ways to enjoy LA Jail on a Saturday night. One's a Richard Pryor album. The other's when a skinny inked up ginger white boy like you walks in. Give me that goddamn phone. I'm handed the phone and I delete the video as I walk back to the rear galley and put it in my back pocket. People are now asking if they're gonna make their connections and shit and I tell them to shut up, we've got more important things going on. As I walk back I peek through the windows seeing nothing but darkness. How long does it take to get to the gate? And even then, is there an ambulance waiting there? What the fuck is happening? Where the fuck are we? I ask Bitch McBitchface how long these symptoms have been going on. Apparently this issue had just arisen upon landing. Doc 1 asks for a stethoscope. I pull down the first aid kit from the compartment. It requires keys. The cabin crew has to find the keys for the first aid kit. I'm eventually handed a key and bust out a stethoscope for the doc. I peer out the window of the rearmost seats looking for signs of a gate, ambulance or anything I can reference to figure out where we are - the tower, a 777 tail which would tell me we are nearing the international terminal.....nothing but darkness. This is not good. Doc keeps the O2 flowing as we are all standing there helpless waiting for the plane to get to the ambulance or vice versa. The cabin crew asks how they're going to get her off the plane. FC: Well she's in no condition to walk, can you get the rampers to put air stairs on 2L and take her off that way? It would be easier and optimal. FA: I don't think we are able to do that (It is at this point I think I smell toast. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T DO THAT? GET ON THE INTERCOM AND TELL THE CAPTAIN THAT THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE HER OFF THE PLANE VIA 2L AND STAIRS WTF) I get that what is happening is clearly exceeding the crew's training but this is.....bad. Eventually we arrive at the gate and the fine folks at Station 51 from LAFD EMS arrive. The EMT sizes it up and calls for an aisle chair to be brought to take her off the plane since she can't walk. (WE HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS THE WHOLE TIME!) They load her up and I step out of the way into the lavatory, I see them wheel her out through a crack in the door. I take this chance to do a bit from spies like us. I look to my left and extend my hand. Doctor. I nod. I repeat to the right. They also repeat the bit. We chuckle. I look towards Doc 2. FC: Hey Docs, I didn't catch your names. I'm Will. Will Hayden. Doc 2: George, George Rodriguez. FC: Good work there Dr Rodriguez. Thanks for helping out. Doc 2: We're doctors. It's what we do. Doc 1: Hiya Will, I'm Charlie Fong. FC: Nice work today Dr Fong. Thank you for showing up. We start walking back to our seats as I snort out a laugh. FC: So, Dr Fong.....I guess it's safe to say that United has successfully smoothed things over with the Asian physician community? The doc's have a two Mississippi awkward pause as they begun laughing hysterically. Please, tip your waitresses. Try the veal. I'm here all night. Tactless millennial asks me to return phone, and I hand it back as we walk back to our seats. EMS clears the plane, captain tells people that they can now leave and a cacophony of seat belt buckles pierces the high pitched drone that is a 737 sitting at the gate without engines running on shore power. I ask Bitchy if I can see the captain on the way out as she once more thanks me for my service. She stuck her head in, got a nod and let me pass. I asked the captain why we landed on the north side of the field with an onboard medical and why we didn't get priority handling from the ground controller and why the hell it took so long to get to the gate. His response was staggering. CA: We didn't even know there was an emergency in the galley until the FA told us. By then we were almost to the terminal. FC: Are you fucking kidding me? CA: Nope. By the time we knew something was going on we were already on the ground and almost to the gate. We talk airplane briefly about the 737 Max, the new jumpseats and I wish them a good rest of the trip. I secretly think he's got to be shitting me. Being a good aviation nerd, I made mental note to check his work after I got back to the hotel. I head to the lounge in LAX for a bite to eat, a sprite and some very boring time to myself. Just as I walk into the terminal there's a voicemail from my uncle. My plan for LA was to see my family - and my cousin and his wife who's pregnant with their second kid. I crash at my uncle's house in Pasadena and walk around old town and shop at Vromans Bookstore and enjoy all that Southern California has to offer. It's a good way to spend a weekend. If you ever get a chance, do it. It's fun. I can pay United a shitload of money to fly into McCarran on Monday or I can spend 1/3 of that and go into LAX a few days before and hop over for $45. I love LA. NEW VOICEMAIL FROM UNCLE LOU: Family emergency, we all have to head to Chicago because Lisa's mom is in the hospital and we can't see you this weekend. You're on your own. I'm on my way to Burbank to catch the last flight to Midway. Talk to you later. Fuck. Time for an FC adventure. I order some food in the lounge and crack open the laptop. One of my customers works for LAFD. I find his personal cell phone number in my sales records. ring ring 1: Go for Smith FC: Chief Smith! Will Hayden here! How's that M110 running? 1: Will...holy shit long time no talk. What's going on? FC: Family bailed on me for this weekend, gotta make my own adventure. You working tomorrow? I'd love to see how LA does things. 1: No, but I have some friends on C shift that are. Let me see who's gonna be around. Let me call you back in 10. FC: You got it Chief. I eat and drink and relax and the phone rings back. Chief smith says be at station 9 at 0800 hrs Sunday morning. I say no problem! Thanks! He tells me to check in with the captain of the truck crew and he'll show me around. While I'm on the laptop I book the marriott in Torrance. It's near the airport and a 25 minute ride to station 9. Little did I know it's next to a goddamn oil refinery and the housekeeping staff have left all the windows to my room open. Ugh. I kick back and take a shower. When I get back, I pulled all the ATC tape from LAX tower, from landing clearance to touchdown to the ground controller handoff to the checkpoint, to the request for medical assistance and timestamped all of it. The request to LAX ground for EMS was made somewhere on taxiway bravo after passing papa (TBIT) but before Charlie-6. (T7). By that time we were already on the south side of the field and terminal adjacent. Cabin crew didn't tell the captain to request EMS till we got to the other side of the fucking airport. From the moment I walked up, I had assumed (incorrectly) that prior to the request for medical assistance they would at least have told the captain what was going on. They didn't and he was flying blind. When you do a CPR class the first thing you do is call 911 and ask for an ambulance because it does not matter how much CPR you do if an ambulance never shows up to take you to the hospital. There's a lesson to be learned here. When seconds count, the request for EMS is waiting for the plane to get to the terminal to be called. I knew United wasn't great, but this is to use a southern california term - no bueno. The Westchester In and Out Burger has a 4x4 with my name on it and it is DELICIOUS. After I finish eating I hop on the hangout with the guys. Since I've got no plans till morning I decide that it's worth the crazy time and I call u/gunexpert69 and we make plans to hang out at his local watering hole. We then try to pick up some flight attendants at the Doubletree. We fail miserably and call it a night. Sunday, January 20th. Two days before SHOT show. My alarm is set for 727AM. It rings, I wash up, jump in the car and put free fallin by Tom Petty on the radio and hop onto 405 south to pick up 110 north. The freeways are empty and I make incredible time downtown. I look down at the address and wonder where the fuck I am going. 7th and San Julian St? I drive around and there are tents on the sidewalk everywhere. This is the closest I have seen to life in a WROL situation. Eventually I find a spot on 7th street, bang on the door and the guys tell me to pull my car into the back lot. I do so and the guys are having breakfast and invite me to sit down and grab a bite. When in Rome...... I grab some eggs, bacon and a biscuit and the truck captain comes by and says oh you know Smith? Apparently they came up in the same academy class and are old friends. He sticks his head out the door and yells at one of the guys and pantomimes some instructions. I don't speak ASL so I just nod and take it in. He runs down what they're doing today. LA tradition is that weekends are for the boys so they do training on weekends. It's 820AM and they've setup a training scenario and are gonna run it. This looks cool. One of the guys comes back and hands me a headset, saladbowl and turnout coat. Captain says you're with me in the truck. Gear up. Uh. What? CA: Yeah, Chief Smith said you'd be riding along with us today. Right? FC: LOL! I thought he was just gonna do a station visit. Sure, I'll ride with you guys. CA: You ever see a TDA before? FC: I used to be on the engine or the quint so this is gonna be new. CA: Well, jump in. Lets go. My ride to LA was a 737 max made in Renton that just came off the line January 17th. My ride to Skid Row was a 100' Pierce Arrow XT Tractor Drawn Aerial that was three years old. I hopped in and we drove around to the training location where the guys were to setup the ladder and pretend like they were venting a roof on a 5 story building. I was told to go shadow the command post as they'd be evaluating the guys and they had a good training day. LA has a good group of people and it shows. They did a post training debrief, simulated a dry hydrant and talked about everything they did, everything they did badly and everything they could do better. LA has some fantastic people there that are very talented. The guys started putting tools away and rolling hose. I find the captain over on one of the engines and ask him if they need help with anything. He says if you want to help out, we're breaking down that attack line you can drain it. FC: You guys straight roll to a flat load right? CA: Yeah. You know hose? FC: Drivers do it with hose. CA: LOL! Hadn't heard that one before! Here's some gloves. He gave me some gloves, I straight rolled three sections of three quarter line and hauled it all back to the engine where I found the truck captain loading hose with his guys. If anyone wants to see where real leadership is, it's helping your guys load hose and pack up tools. I hook up and look up as I notice their technique. LA flat loads all their attack line, no preconnects. Two guys in the bed dressing and dutching it, one guy on the ground, straight roll between the boots pulling hose straight up into the engine. Gets any residual water out and they can check the gaskets every length. Never seen that done before but it looks like a smooth technique. I hook up the last of their attack line as the guys finish packing up. The bells come in and there's an automatic fire alarm tripped. First call of the morning. We hop over there and its' a false alarm. The rest of the day is spent with station 9 watching the various indigenous folks of Skid Row do their thing. Station 9 is the busiest fire station in the nation. Before lunch they ran 3 overdoses, 2 stabbings, and a cacophany of crap. I went with them and their ambulance drivers and EMT's really earn every dollar they make working this area. After a quick break for lunch, they start watching the Rams game. Just as it got good, bells came in for another few calls and next thing I knew - the Rams were going to the super bowl and the dinner bell was ringing. I decided it would be overstaying my welcome to hang out for dinner so I packed up and bought a shirt and told the guys if they ever needed guns to shout at me. Drove over to Grand Central Market to get a bite to eat and then grabbed some in and out burger on my way back to the hotel. txgi is sloshed and in no position to travel after watching the patriots destroy KC. It's been a crazy day and the beginning of a crazy trip. And it's just getting started. Monday, January 21st. One day before SHOT Show I wake up late, grab lunch at the Del Amo mall and do some shopping. My flight to McCarran leaves at 7PM and arrives just after 8PM. Knowing rush hour traffic in LA I decide to leave early and get to the airport at 430. I hightail it to the lounge in TBIT and grab a bite to eat and relax. I'm on an Alaska A320 to McCarran all the way in the back but at least I got a window seat. I stop in on the way to talk to the captain and he asks me a bunch of gun questions. I tell him the VP9 is good to go and he should buy it with his ATP credentials. The 320 ride to LAS is entirely filled with moderate chop. The airplane is literally banging the side of the plane into my head. It is a miserable flight. We land on time and I am unable to stop at the Centurion lounge for a bite and a drink because it's closed for renovations. I grab my bags and pick up my badge for SHOT Show at the airport and jump on the shuttle bus to Hertz. I reserved a compact knowing I'd need to be in and out of a tight parking garage. I get to my assigned spot, spot 13 and there's a fullsize Chevy Suburban there. What the fuck is this? I throw my bags inside, jump in and drive right up to the Gold Member service area. FC: The lady on the phone asked me compact, midsize or fullsize - WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? Hertz: That's the Hertz Love Wagon! Think of all the ladies you can drive around in this! FC: DO I LOOK LIKE A GODDAMN LYFT FOR WORKING GIRLS? It is at this point where I learn something. The best part about Vegas is anything crazy or unbelievable can be explained or justified by shrugging your shoulders, opening your palms upward and saying "It's Vegas!" Hertz: It's Vegas! FC: I am not driving (gesticulates widlly) THIS into the parking garage of the Palazzo for 4 days straight! Hertz is not impressed with my pantomime. They find me a brand new 2019 Honda Pilot with 19 miles on it. I hightail it up the highway to Circus Circus. Check in line is totally deserted. I am able to haul my bags up and get keys in 3 minutes flat. That's gotta be a fucking record. Just as I arrive at my room I decide to send Rusty Shackleford a picture of me looking grumpy in front of the hertz love wagon. RS: ARE YOU IN VEGAS?!?!?!??!?!? FC: YES!!!! WHY ARE WE YELLING?!?!?!??!? (image of Rusty coming down the escalator with the sign behind him that says WELCOME TO LAS VEGAS in the background) FC: Oh dear god. I just got to the hotel to dump off my bags, you want a ride? I can be there in 20. RS: Nah man we just landed a few min ago I was gonna take an uber FC: By the time you get to the rideshare area it'll be 20 minutes. I can be there by the time you get to the curb. Seriously. RS: LOL okay head over! I look at my watch. Las Vegas Blvd traffic on a monday night? This isn't gonna work. I grab my coat and run back to the parking garage and tear out of the CC garage tires squealing all the way down. I bang a left onto Sammy Davis Jr Drive and haul ass to Spring mountain where I jump on 15 and get the car up to 100MPH between mandalay bay and 215. McCarran Airport SUCKS in many regards and the airport pickup is one of them. It's not laid out well at all but it makes the cabbies plenty of money. I find it kinda funny because this year I'm picking up Rusty. Last year I was picking up a coworker of a buddy of mine who needed his SHOT show pass and there was no way to get it to him that night so I just said fuck it, give me the pass and I'll get it to him and drive him to the hotel. The year before, I picked up u/fluffy_butternut. I guess I am the world's worst uber driver. I like doing the same bit over and over again like beating a dead horse so I can pickup Rusty one of to ways. A: The classic Las Vegas Airport pickup. Drive to airport and park car on curb. Wait for metro PD to start yelling at you for parking on the sidewalk. Message Rusty to tell him I'm the one parked on the sidewalk. B: In my best Arnold Schwarzenegger impression: COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE My calculations were rough but I figured rusty should get to the curb right at the same time as me. If he's there already, we do B. If he's not, I'll do A. The speed limit in the tunnel under the airport is 55. I'm doing 90. I fly up the ramp to Terminal 1 and tell him that I'll grab him at the American arrivals level. Just as I pull off to the curb to tell him I'm here he tells me he's just walked outside and I look up and see a classically hawaiian shirt standing at the curb. I pull the car forward, stop quickly and do my best Arnold. He laughs and hops in. I take him to his hotel and dump him off at registration as I park the car. I spend 20 minutes parking the car and I walk over to registration to find him still in line. The hotel is packed with people for the convention. Behind us is a beautiful blonde engineer in town for what I'm guessing is World of Concrete based on the blueprints she's brought with her. I chat her up a bit until I see that she's got a wedding ring on her other hand. We head up to rusty's room where we find a king size bed and a hot tub 5 feet away. You don't even need to leave your bed to drown a hooker if you don't want to. It's Vegas! Rusty says lets go down to the casino and lose some money. We head down to the casino and lose some money at the craps table. This trip is not treating me nicely. I tell him I gotta tap out. Show in the morning.
Looking for an awesome place to take my wife for her birthday
Hi, Kansas City native here. My wife and I have been to a lot of places in and around KC, which is making her birthday this year harder to figure out. She wants to take a small day trip or overnight trip somewhere within a few hours of KC. We have a baby at home and don't want to leave him with anyone more than a day. Most likely be grandparents. Anyway, here is a list of places we have been on trips to: Weston, Rochport, Hermann, St Louis, Des Moines, Omaha, Branson, Springfield, and even Bentonville (will want to be closer than three last 3 probably). We have also stayed at that chateau place in the Legends area as well as at a casino in the river, and a hotel downtown. I'm looking for something a bit different this time around. Wondering if the fine people here know of any other good places we could check it for either a day trip or a one night stop. We also like biking and hiking. We like small towns and outdoors and are pretty open to things. Does anyone have any good ideas?
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